Sofia Vergara Gets Engaged And Shit Around The Web

By Jack December 30, 2014 @ 12:00 PM

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Latina tit monster Sofia Vergara got engaged over the holiday to the werewolf bohunk from True Blood, Joe Manganiello. Not to sound bi-curuous unsure, but both of these people are ridiculously hot. I look forward to their sex tape.

Read all about their disgusting joy. (Dlisted)

You know that private jet Bieber bought? Yeah, about that…(TMZ)

Jada Pinkett Smith may be an insufferable cunt but she’s hot in a bikini. (Huffington Post)

Rosie Huntington-Whitely in lingerie just made my day. (Drunken Stepfather)

And now a word from Kaysha Fitzgerald’s sideboob. (Hollywood Tuna)

Giada De Laurentiis is single…let that sink in. (The Superficial)

Rolling Stone badly photoshops out Nicki Minaj’s nips. (COED)

Sofia Vergara’s Tits Deserve Better And Shit Around The Web

By Jack August 26, 2014 @ 12:17 PM

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The Internet got its collective panties in a bunch after last night’s Emmys because of an unfunny bit with Sofia Vergara. The Television Academy President literally put her on a spinning pedestal to show their commitment to always giving viewers something interesting to look at. Feminists got pissed because of how the showcase degraded Vergara as a woman. Vergara, who earned over $30 million last year for having nice tits and an exotic accent, had no comment.

Read about all about the made up hoopla. (Dlisted)

Selena Gomez shakes her cleavage on Instagram and it is oddly hypnotic. (Popoholic)

The bad guy from the bad Star Wars movies may return. (COED)

J-Lo and Iggy Azalea show off their asses to sell records. (Huffington Post)

Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend lets her watch his kids. He must not love them. (The Superficial)

Natalia Proza dribbling water on herself in a swimsuit? Yes, please! (Hollywood Tuna)

Man, I’m fucking sick of this ice bucket bullshit…wait…Playboy Playmates dumping cold water on themselves? (Busted Coverage)

(Photo Via Slate)

Sofia Vergara Tit’s Seem Happy

By Lex August 15, 2014 @ 10:31 AM

Sofia Vergara Looking Chesty Out With Joe Manganiello At The Justin Timerlake Concert In Los Angeles
If you’re still amped to see Justin Timberlake in concert, you’re probably not ready to settle down with the fried onions toppings guy from Florida. You need the swarthy hunk from True Blood. I get that. I don’t care if you’re 22 or 42, those massive tits are not ready for commitment to anything other than a dude who can bench 400 lbs. while you’re riding him and screaming out the Spanish names of the Catholic Saints. The old money business guy will always take you back when you’ve sewn your oats. Women have options these days. If only I could go back in time and prevent that from happening.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News, AKM-GSI

Sofia Vergara Makes Kmart Seem Bouncier

By Travis May 16, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

Sofia Vergara makes Kmart look okay

Modern Family star Sofia Vergara has been a spokesperson for Kmart since 2011, so this isn’t really anything new, but considering most people didn’t even know that Kmart had a website, it seems like her modeling efforts for the company should still be commended. As the Daily Mail shared, Sofia has used her best assets to make her creatively named Sofia clothing and jewelry line seem more interesting compared to the rest of Kmart’s ordinary array of things that old people die in. In fact her bathing suit photos look almost exactly like most of her modeling work, except those random photos and the ones that she posts on Instagram are far less likely to get you arrested for taking your pants off in a Kmart ladies section.

Photo Credits: Kmart

Sofia Vergara In A Sexy Photo Shoot For The May 2014 Issue Of Women’s Health

By Lex April 17, 2014 @ 11:23 AM

Sofia Vergara In A Sexy Photo Shoot For The May 2014 Issue Of Women's Health

Photo Credit: Women’s Health

Sofia Vergara Poses In Lingerie For The November Issue Of GQ India

By Lex November 21, 2013 @ 3:11 PM

Sofia Vergara Poses In Lingerie For The November Issue Of GQ India

Photo Credit: GQ