Sofia Vergara’s Tits Deserve Better And Shit Around The Web

By Jack August 26, 2014 @ 12:17 PM


The Internet got its collective panties in a bunch after last night’s Emmys because of an unfunny bit with Sofia Vergara. The Television Academy President literally put her on a spinning pedestal to show their commitment to always giving viewers something interesting to look at. Feminists got pissed because of how the showcase degraded Vergara as a woman. Vergara, who earned over $30 million last year for having nice tits and an exotic accent, had no comment.

Read about all about the made up hoopla. (Dlisted)

Selena Gomez shakes her cleavage on Instagram and it is oddly hypnotic. (Popoholic)

The bad guy from the bad Star Wars movies may return. (COED)

J-Lo and Iggy Azalea show off their asses to sell records. (Huffington Post)

Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend lets her watch his kids. He must not love them. (The Superficial)

Natalia Proza dribbling water on herself in a swimsuit? Yes, please! (Hollywood Tuna)

Man, I’m fucking sick of this ice bucket bullshit…wait…Playboy Playmates dumping cold water on themselves? (Busted Coverage)

(Photo Via Slate)

Sofia Vergara Tit’s Seem Happy

By Lex August 15, 2014 @ 10:31 AM

Sofia Vergara Looking Chesty Out With Joe Manganiello At The Justin Timerlake Concert In Los Angeles
If you’re still amped to see Justin Timberlake in concert, you’re probably not ready to settle down with the fried onions toppings guy from Florida. You need the swarthy hunk from True Blood. I get that. I don’t care if you’re 22 or 42, those massive tits are not ready for commitment to anything other than a dude who can bench 400 lbs. while you’re riding him and screaming out the Spanish names of the Catholic Saints. The old money business guy will always take you back when you’ve sewn your oats. Women have options these days. If only I could go back in time and prevent that from happening.

Photo Credit: FameFlynet, Pacific Coast News, AKM-GSI

Sofia Vergara Makes Kmart Seem Bouncier

By Travis May 16, 2014 @ 10:00 AM

Sofia Vergara makes Kmart look okay

Modern Family star Sofia Vergara has been a spokesperson for Kmart since 2011, so this isn’t really anything new, but considering most people didn’t even know that Kmart had a website, it seems like her modeling efforts for the company should still be commended. As the Daily Mail shared, Sofia has used her best assets to make her creatively named Sofia clothing and jewelry line seem more interesting compared to the rest of Kmart’s ordinary array of things that old people die in. In fact her bathing suit photos look almost exactly like most of her modeling work, except those random photos and the ones that she posts on Instagram are far less likely to get you arrested for taking your pants off in a Kmart ladies section.

Photo Credits: Kmart

Sofia Vergara In A Sexy Photo Shoot For The May 2014 Issue Of Women’s Health

By Lex April 17, 2014 @ 11:23 AM

Sofia Vergara In A Sexy Photo Shoot For The May 2014 Issue Of Women's Health

Photo Credit: Women’s Health

Sofia Vergara Poses In Lingerie For The November Issue Of GQ India

By Lex November 21, 2013 @ 3:11 PM

Sofia Vergara Poses In Lingerie For The November Issue Of GQ India

Photo Credit: GQ

Sofia Vergara’s Breasts Went To The Emmys

By Travis September 23, 2013 @ 11:00 AM

Sofia Vergara isn’t the most beautiful woman in Hollywood, nor is she the most talented actress on TV or in movies, or even on her own show. But she is still the highest paid actress on TV and that’s obviously because men can’t ever stop staring at her tits. Sofia could be facing life in prison because of video evidence that shows her butchering dozens of small children before lighting their bodies on fire, but I guarantee the judge would at least consider letting her off with a warning if he thought he had a chance to see her topless.

(Photo Credits: Getty)