By Lex July 16, 2013 @ 9:43 AM
I feel like Uma Thurman can no longer Kill Bill. Maybe she could bake him a lasagna and poison it or something. Sword fighting seems pretty much out of the question. I’m not sure what happened to Uma Thurman. I guess motherhood. It looks like fucking war.
Photo Credit: FameFlynet
By brendon October 18, 2012 @ 12:32 PM
A few weeks ago, Uma Thurman was leaving an office with her new baby girl (born July 15th), but before going down some stairs, she was covered in a tarp. Because nothing bad could happen while you’re blindly walking under a tarp carrying a baby.
Oh wait, yes it could. You could trip and kill the fucking thing. It was like a magic trick. The baby was in my arms, now it’s in the street under that cab. Ta-da!
And clearly her parenting skills havent gotten any better since then because yesterday she announced her daughters name for the first time, but don’t say it out loud three times or you might summon a ghost. Her name is:
Rosalind Arusha Arkadina Altalune Florence Thurman-Busson
Amazingly, that’s still not enough names to choose from and they actually call her ‘Luna’. If this poor girl ever has to write her full name on a standard form it’s gonna look like she just drew a straight line.
(image source of uma and rosalind arusha arkadina altalune florence = fame/flynet)
By brendon October 11, 2012 @ 5:01 PM
In what sounds like it would have been a much much better idea about 10 years ago, Uma Thurman has joined the cast of Lars von Trier’s ‘Nymphomaniac’, currently shooting in and around Cologne, Germany, and described as an “epic pornographic drama”. As in, the actors actually have real sex. With each other. And it’s filmed.
The Hollywood Reporter says…
Nymphomaniac stars Charlotte Gainsbourg as Jo, a self- diagnosed nymphomaniac. One night, an old bachelor, played by Stellan Skarsgard, finds her in an alley, badly beaten. He takes her home to nurse her back to health, while she recounts to him her life of erotic adventure.
Shia LaBeouf, Jamie Bell, Stacy Martin, Connie Nielsen and Christian Slater are also among the cast.
Von Trier is one of the very best directors in the world, but I’m out on this already. For one, I would fight you to the grave if you ever tried to show me Shia LaBeoufs penis. Secondly, if I wanted to see a girl regret her degrading sex life I could do that at home, for free.
(image source of uma in new york nine days ago = inf)
By brendon March 26, 2012 @ 5:57 PM
I’m glad that Uma Thurman (who is pregnant) looks like hell in these pictures because not only is she in St. Barts, but she’s on a yacht in St. Barts. How fucking exclusive does your fancy vacation have to be? I would never waste money like this if I was rich, except for getting a dog with dollar signs on it like the one Richie Rich had, because that would be awesome.
(image source = fame/flynet)
By brendon November 30, 2011 @ 1:55 PM
It’s important to know what your strengths are in life, so when Uma Thurman picked out an outfit for the UNICEF Snowflake Ball in New York last night, she could have chosen something that highlighted her face (no) or something that drew attention to her big tits (yes). Hint hint, Katy Perry.
(image source = wenn and splash)
By brendon October 19, 2010 @ 9:58 AM
When Uma Thurman arrived for the premiere of ‘David Mamet’s A Life In the Theatre’ last night, her look was tight and clean and polished, the epitome of New York high society. Then a few hours later she had some white powder on her nose and her hair looked like someone just got done fucking her mouth. This sounds like a really good play.
(picture source = wenn and getty images)