Tiger Woods has a new commercial for Nike, set to air during the Masters starting tomorrow, and it’s a simple black and white shot of Tiger while his (dead) dad does a voice over.
It’s a good ad, but if you have a friend who’s really stoned you can ask him how is Tiger talking without moving his lips, or even better pretend like you don’t hear any voices, and watch him freak out.
Of course when I said, “who wants look at Lindsay any more than they have to”, I forgot the footage of her falling down last night. Everyone can enjoy something like that. Especially this one. It’s not an innocent stumble. It’s like a Home Alone movie. She hits the ground so completely, it’s as if she was tied to a safe and thrown off the roof. If you didn’t know better you’d think someone was just dumped out of their wheelchair.
Black and white alike all hate John Mayer now after his comments about women and race were published in Playboy yesterday. The only person who seems happy about it is Jessica Simpson in this TMZ video, because him saying she was a tiger in the sack is the best press she’s gotten in about two years. Still, it’s nice to see the races come together and agree on something, in this case that John Mayer is a jackass when he tries to be introspective. Beating up John Mayer could be the bridge that brings black and white together. That rock doesn’t care what color you are, my brothers.
According to the Grammys, the Grammys always has an amazing musical number that has everyone talking about it the next day. That seems more than a little presumptuous, but the attempt to cram wonder down our throats last night was the opening performance by Lady GaGa, which ended up as a duet with Elton John. It was the fulfillment of a fear I never knew I had, and began the nights theme of choosing duets based on picking random names out of a hat. The only things these two have in common is that they both have a penis, and they’re both visually disturbing. Forget about having sex with either one, I wouldn’t even eat one of them if I was a vulture in the desert.
(NSFW WARNING - the video above has Lindsay Lohan topless, and there might be some profanity too but Lindsay is naked at the very beginning and I kind of checked out after that. also, the video is choppy and audio cuts in and out but that’s the way it’s supposed to be)
The good news is, if you’re reading this, you’re on one of few places anywhere to have the red band trailer for ‘Machete’. The bad news is everything else, beginning right now.
Lindsay Lohan is a good actress, maybe even really good, and at one point she was terrific looking. To see that she has fallen this far this fast, to see that the only work she can get, her first movie in 4 years, is a bit part that at best will add up to 10 minutes on screen, and she almost certainly got this only because she was willing to take off her clothes, for this piece of shit … is simply astounding. It’s not even hot to see her naked. It’s depressing. I mean I still masturbated to it, but then I ran the shower as hot as it would go and sat in there and cried.
SUSPENSEFUL UPDATE - so is this lindsay or not? the whole thing started with a post friday night on the Sun UK, which they still have up as of sunday night. i only saw ‘grindhouse’ once in the theater but this seemed like the same ‘machete’ trailer that ran with that, but the sun says it’s lindsay so whatever. i haven’t seen her fully naked while wading as many times as you might think.
Katy Perry was one of the guest judges last night on ‘American Idol’ when they stopped in LA, and you may find this hard to believe but she seemed to be annoyed by Kara DiWhateverhernameis, and even threatened to throw a drink in her face. Rawwrr! This kittens got claws!
But the real zinger came when DioGuardi began belting out Perry’s smash hit “I Kissed a Girl.” Within seconds, Perry interrupted, “Please stop before I throw my Coke in your face!”
In Katys defense, Kara is annoying. She always has to be the center of attention, the kind of person who tries to kill themselves by holding their breath or calls 911 after eating ice cream too fast.
