While most of the bits about Conan spending millions on new characters in his final days as ‘Tonight Show’ host were just a joke, one thing that was very real was the tab he was running up by playing famous songs as the intro music for guests. Those songs really do have incredibly high royalty fees and NBC really does have to pay them. First it was the Rolling Stones “Satisfaction” for Adam Sandler, then on Friday…
When Tom Hanks entered from behind a curtain to go to his seat, the band played The Beatles “Lovely Rita,” which costs NBC half a million dollars.
Questlove, who is the drummer for The Roots on “Late Night with Jimmy Fallon,” almost instantly tweeted, “yo i hate spoiling but i will have you know that walk on song we just heard was half a milli. i know cause i got the list rate at nbc and tom’s walkon music on conan is on my “restricted” list—wow a $500,000 walkon song lol.”
This is why when I do talk shows I come out to ‘Ava Maria’. It’s in the public domain so no one has to pay any royalties. Also I think it would be nice if more people thought I was a messenger from God.
David Letterman was noticeably hoarse last night on his show, probably from cackling like a mad man as NBC and Jay Leno continue to screw up beyond all comprehension and get eviscerated by every branch of the media.
Dave spent an entire 6 minute break giving a beating to NBC and Lenos plea on Monday that people not blame Conan for this mess (video of that under the cut). And last night, as he led guest Chelsea Handler to a set made to look like a seedy motel room, Leno began to fight back by doing what he does best. By mixing failure with creepiness.
OK Go has become famous for their single-shot videos, and their treadmill video for ‘Here It Goes Again’ has almost 50 million views on youtube, making it one of the most popular videos ever (just behind the sneezing panda but ahead of that goofy little dick on his way home from the dentist).
Needless to say, following something so famous was gonna be hard. The most obvious way would be to dress like a high school marching band in a field and have the wind and horn section in sniper camouflage. And so that’s what they did. It makes a lot of sense if you think about it.
Jennifer Love Hewitt has a new dating book out, and if you think she wouldn’t have any good tips for how to spice up your love life, you would be 100 percent correct.
One of her tips: glue shiny things on your vadge.
“After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady,” she said. “It shined like a disco ball so I have a whole chapter in there on how women should vagazzle their vajayjays.”
The promise of slamming your penis into a dozen rocks might be effective if you’re trying to seduce Ben Grimm, but believe it or not I’d rather not pound my dick into fragile cut glass with sharp edges. Seeing a girl with crystals glued to her vagina sounds horrifying. At best it would look like armor, at worst scales, and either way my dick isn’t getting anywhere near it. Because it’s either defending itself or it might spit poison at me.
The French trailer for ‘Chloe’, starring Liam Nesson, Julianne Moore and Amanda Seyfried, is way better than the American one because it delves deeper into the psychological tug-of-war between the characters. And also because you can see Amandas naked tits and ass a few times.
The movie is about Moore hiring Seyfried to try and seduce her husband, Neeson. He doesn’t go for it, but Amanda gives him a blowjob anyway and Moore gets all huffy about it. Mee-ow! The claws are comin’ out now girlfriend!
Mariah Carey won the Breakthrough Actress award at last nights Palm Springs Film Festival, and when she went to accept she admitted the obvious, namely that she was drunk off her ass.
Carey won the award for her portrayal of a guidance councilor in ‘Precious’, the story of an obese, illiterate, 16-year-old black girl with two kids (both the product of her dad raping her) who lives on welfare in Harlem and has HIV. The film has been a huge hit on the awards show circuit, and with racist white people who like saying, “I told you so.”
