KFed is dreaming

Life and Style quotes an source saying that Kevin Federline was – shockingly – out one night with friends at Privilege in LA while the wife was at home with the infant and deluded himself into making a move on Jessica Simpson. Reps for both parties claim they are just old friends, but a source told the magazine:

“She invited him to sit down. There was definitely some chemistry there.”

I’m terrified to think my beloved Jessica would lay down with this jackass, but let’s be honest, she’s the Robin Hood of pussy, handing it out to downtrodden losers and miscreants who have no business being anywhere near a girl this hot. Deserving Hollywood studs like me and me can’t get a lick but Nick Lachey, Adam Levine, Bam Margera, Ryan Dunn have all ridden her like Viper. God damn I’m depressed now.