Hilary Duff fears for her life because she and boyfriend Joel Madden are being stalked by two men, according to court papers filed yesterday. One is a homeless 19-year-old Russian immigrant known only as "Max" who came to the United States for the expressed purpose of "meeting and becoming romantically involved with Ms. Duff." TMZ says,
The court documents state the man "admitted to being 'obsessed' with her, has stated his intention of 'removing' his 'enemies' (i.e., those who prevent him from being with her), has stated his intention of purchasing a weapon, and has threatened to kill himself and to engage in dramatic actions to get her attention." According to the documents, Max "has stated his belief that Hilary is in love with him and that Joel Madden stands in their way."
The other man is a 50-year-old paparazzi photographer named David Joseph Klein. Klein and "Max" live together.
The documents state, "Over the past six weeks, the defendants have engaged in an accelerated effort to make contact with Hilary, including visits to her neighborhood, to her mother's home, to her boyfriend's neighborhood … to Mr. Madden's concert venue, and direct calls to Hilary's manager."
It's funny that Klein and Max are running around, trying to kill everyone, looking for happiness, but I bet it turns out that the true happiness is in their friendship and the memories they're creating. I think we can learn a lot from Klein and Max. Slow down. Smell the roses. Put down the gun and that strap-on that has a big knife blade instead of a fake penis, and you just might find that what you've been searching for has been right in front of you all along.
So you see, fame has a high price–besides being made fun of on this site all the time.
I see a fatal flaw in their plan to make Ms Duff their personal sex-monkey. They both want her, and want to kill anyone who stands in their way. So, won’t they have to try and kill each other at some point? Stop wasting tax payers money when the issue will resolve itself in time. Sheesh!
I could really care less about Hillary Duff but honestly, I’m cracking up: “true happiness is in the friendship and the memories..”
Hilarious.
You’re right…the write-up is hilarious. But this is going to put a serious bump in my road to being the first guy to bang Lizzie McQuire in the backside.
You are brilliant. You had me at “it’s funny…” You actually made me envision a montage in my head of Max pushing Klein on a swing, and the duo sharing some cotton candy at a carnival, then one of them catching a foul ball at the big game, then they high five and bump tummies…and then they take a bubble bath together and Max slits Klein’s throat and gets the girl. You are brilliant.
“meeting and becoming romantically involved with Ms. Duff” - is that some kind of euphemism? Becasuse personally, if I’d spent a lot of time and effort stalking her and finally cornered her, I wouldn’t waste a lot of time on introductions and roses…
I she dating Benji or Joel
considering that, according to hilary duff, she’s been dating joel madden for 3 years and she is still a virgin. now if joel, who is a fag so this is totally believable, ain’t getting any then for sure the rascally russian has no competition. but wait, didn’t hilary muff say that her man grew up in the ghetto? why is mr. madden acting like mr.frightened?
What the story doesn’t include is that Max and Klein are North American Chipmunks, in a rabid race to mate with HIllary, who they think is one of their own with those fucking choppers. Oh, and goddammit Lesley!!! I had coffee coming out of my nose at bumping tummies. Sweet creamy Jebus!
t-bird…gangstas only mess with other gangstas…19 year old lost russians is outa his league and unchartered territory for him…so unless the russians name is trevor and he has a yellow sweater around his waist..he aint gonna mess with him…boris needs to bitch up more
I see this as being the next hit movie starring Jack Nicholson and Rob Schneider. And I think we’ll all cheer when Jack slits Rob’s throat.
she’s dating joel, not benji. benji is the fat one w/down syndrome. joel is the skinny one w/full blown aids.
“could really care less”. oh you could? that’s nice to know. oh oh, did you mean you could not care less, as in you don’t care at all?
She looks really pretty…thank God she seems to have gotten past the giant head and even “gianter” teeth stage she was in some months back
Well, as Julz stated, she IS a chipmunk, they have a way of gnawing those chicklets into shape. She is a bit thin and what’s the word I am thinking of….oh…fucktarded for me.
Dear Joel and Benji,
You say you a gangsta
But you neva pop nothin’
We said you were a wanksta
And you need to stop frontin’
Love,
50 cent
Who is that skinny little boy in front of Ms. Duff?
Of all the celebrities a guy could choose to stalk.. wtf??
Took me a second to get it but, that was good Whomping Willow. Yes, Im a wee bit slow
“Hilary Duff fears for her life because she and boyfriend Joel Madden.”
That’s really all we needed to read to grasp the horror which confronts Hilary on a daily basis.