Us Magazine has a picture of the sonnet that Kevin Federline left for Britney Spears on his dressing rooms shower door at the House of Blues in Chicago. It was written on November 8, one day after Britney filed for divorce. If you cant tell, it says:
Today I’m a free man. Ladies look out. Fuck a wife. Give me my kids Bitch!
–Kevin Federline
Just give him the damn kids Britney. They're gonna be fucked up anyway. They're half KFed, I promise you're not gonna want them. And maybe if he has to raise these two he won't have anymore. He's like the male version of Paris Hilton, pretty much the last people on earth you ever want to have kids. I know we always see those birth control patches on Paris, but I'm still scared. My plan is to kidnap her and fill her vagina with cement. Just to be sure. I have to believe the cops would understand.
Apparently you don’t know how much cement costs these days. To fill that gaping maw you’d need ton after ton. I don’t think her family’s fortune could cover the cost.
I don’t know if the kids would be any better off with Britney. Didn’t she go hanggliding with one and then dangle the other over a crocodile like a chicken (to prove crocs are polite)? Madonna should just buy these kids on the cheap and use their blood for her youth rituals, instead of helpless Africans.
That court transcript is going to be unreadable. Spellcheck will probably short circuit.
K-Fed “just wants his kids”? Strange, I thought he left his last pregnant Baby Mama *for* Britney… I must have him confused with a different deadbeat wigger.
Yeah, Britney is a shitty mother and KLoser is a failure even as a wigger (and that’s saying something). The solution is simple: Give the kids to Madonna. This will up her count to 4 and she can start cross-breeding them.
He wants the kids so she’ll have to pay support. He’s using his own kids as leverage and he wonders why I keep beating the crap out of him. Y’know, at being a good person.
yeah, all the other “ladles” and i will be looking out (to SPIT on you!)…i never knew kfed had such fresh graf styles.
What a talented poet. You never know, there might be university literature courses based on his masterpieces one day. It’s simply beautiful, his way with the English language.
That shower room door just decreased in value
Will someone just hit him in his unworthy-of-being-so-goddamned-smug face and be done with him? Jesus! I am so sick of him, and “news” about him.
“Ladies look out. Fuck a wife.” is my new mantra.
” My plan is to kidnap her and fill her vagina with cement. ”
This has got to be one of the most brilliant ideas since the Theory of Relativity. My hat is off to you, sir. And if SilentBob is correct and concrete is too expensive, just jam Nicole Richie up there.
Having read K-fed’s shower door prose, I now understand why his “raps” are so profound.
“just jam Nicole Richie up there”: does that make her rebar? She’s got the right proportions.
I think it says “Ladles” look out. For the love of all things holy, please tell me he isn’t going to start playing the spoons! The rap genre didn’t work for him, perhaps he is going to be next year’s crossover superstar? Look out Bluegrass world!
Ya ladies, LOOK OUT! The world’s most talentless wigger is on the prowl and looking to spread his dimwit seed into more willing victims. Because, after all, speading his seed is the only thing in life he’s been successful at. Those words of his…um…were they meant to make us weak in the knees? They only had one knee-jerk reaction on me and I would now like to kick him in the nuts every hour on the hour instead of once daily. As for Paris and Nicole, you guys get the cement, I’ll hold the Black Hole of Paris open whilst yous guys shove Chupacabra in and seal her up!
Why am I not suprised?
Can’t we get Bob Barker to lobby for the neutering of K-Fed? You know, like…. to help control the Federline population?
K-Fed is the exact kind of person that Mike Judge was thinking of when he filmed “Idiocracy”. It’s official, we’re doomed.
Pity–if he’d left off “bitches” it would have been a haiku.
Willie Beamin, good observation about the door depreciation. KF has the Midas touch, except fecal.