KFED IS STILL HORRIBLY UNDERRATED

Despite having the 9,815th (*) best selling record in the world just one week after its release, Kevin Federline is still having trouble attracting a live audience.  MSNBC says that his show Saturday night at Webster Hall in New York City, a venue which holds 1500, had only 300 people in attendance, but the great Michael K over on DListed – who was there because he's white trash too – swears there was no more than 150.  The show was actually set to be cancelled, and only wasn't because Kevin begged and pleaded like a little girl who wants a kitten.   MSNBC says:

K-Fed was scheduled to go on at 7 pm, but the crowd was so sparse that the aspiring rapper waited for three hours in hopes that more fans would appear … Federline’s performance has been described as “mercifully short.” Britney Spears’s hubby only rapped for about half an hour and, reports one eyewitness, "seemed really confused about how to act on stage. He would pace from one side of the stage to the other, just saying things like, 'Hey' thirty times in a row or 'New York, thank you for coming — buy my CD.' "

It's fun to imagine Kevin practicing acceptance speeches and interviews in the mirror for the past few months, because you totally know he did that shit.  Ones where he tells imaginary reporters how all the haters were only gonna make him bigger, because once people heard his sick rhymes, they would have to admit it was the greatest music ever made.  And then Kevin would give the pretend reporter a tour of his gold record collection and tell the stories behind his chart topping hits.  And at fancy parties Tom Brady and Leonardo DiCaprio and people like that would come over to say what big fans they are.  And Kevin would nod and smirk and say thanks, but in a really cool way.  And then he’d rub his head because I just bounced a rock off it and called him a faggot.  Um, okay, I guess that last part was really more my daydream than his.

(according to amazon.com as of 7:00 AM, pacific coast time)