SNAGGLETOOTH IS PREGNANT?

Star magazine claimed in an email newsletter yesterday that The Most Beautiful Woman In The World might be pregnant.  Star says:

She has been spotted wearing baggy clothing, ordering big boxes of sweet chocolaty treats, and overheard complaining of lower back pain and nausea during filming. Her rep denies that these tell-tale signs are signaling that Kirsten is a mom-to-be, but her interest in co-star Tobey Maguire’s newborn daughter suggests otherwise. Kirsten has become fascinated by details about the pregnancy of Tobey’s fiancée, Jennifer Meyer, asking how she dealt with morning sickness. When Tobey replied that Jennifer felt awful throughout the entire nine months, Kirsten just groaned, “Oh great!”

There's no way this is true.  It's just not.  First of all, I'm not even positive she's a girl.  Or entirely human.  The kid would have hooves and a forked tongue.  The only reason she was complaining is because she's Kirsten Dunst, and Kirsten Dunst is a whiny bitch.  But, whatever, based on trophies I won in Science, I know for a fact that robots from the future would come back and kill her before she ever came to term, so we're good.