November 10, 2006 | Photos | editor | 0 Comments

I have no idea if this is any good or not. I do know Kirsten Dunsts fug ass is shown almost immediately. She's so alarmingly ugly, it's hard to focus after that, with her little beady black eyes and giant Garbage Pail kid head. I get a cold feeling in my heart whenever I see this mutant, as if a loved one just died. It's like in the movies when the big mean dog sees the devil in human form, and then the big mean dog stops barking and just slowly backs away. I think we're close enough now for me to admit that – on two separate occasions – I've cried after looking at her. It was as if all hope had suddenly died.

(for like 5 minutes this franchise was set up for David Fincher to direct and starring Wes Bentley.  God that would have been great.  but then Sony decided Fincher was too dark.  bastards.)

Tags: kirsten dunst

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