I tried to soften the blow by headlining with a picture of Jessica Simpson and her kick ass rack, but I'm pessimistic even that will be enough. And Jessica Simpson is short with blond hair and big boobs, which in my world, makes her so perfect I have a fiberglass version of her on my lawn at Christmas. But, okay, here we go - Michael Jackson. Yikes. I'm almost positive you could legally kill him as long as you stake him in the heart. And I know I've said before that such-and-such was the most horrifying things I'd ever seen, but please understand that that was before I saw his hands. As if a hand stirring a roofie into applesauce wasn't creepy enough, now picture it being this hand. I'd rather have a beehive around my penis than that thing.
In all seriousness, he really doesn’t resemble a living person. It’s quite scary. That hand is the creepiest thing ever. Is that the hand that he uses to grope children? Poor kids. On another note, we need more T&A pics ASAP!
That’s the sacriest human being on earth. He got that way for the treatment he underwent for skin therapy trying to make his skin white.
We all talka bout how Federtard and Paris should die, but this creep is the one who has true potential to hurt innocents. How can he be allowed to live? And have custody of two children??? He was in the Middle East where they stone people for not wearing a veil and shit…why couldn’t they just take him out with a well-placed rock? No one would demand an answer. I think we’d all just happily pay more for oil in appreciation. Aaarrrrgghhh! (I’ll bet the Game Wad clown has hands like this, too)
My penis just completely retracted into my abdomen…I kid you not, I now have a second belly-button that looks like the sarlac creature that ate Bobba Fett.
Thanks for fucking up my day with that picture - some things you see you can never unsee.
BOOO.. you used the beehive/penis line already. It was good the first time, however.
Holeee Shit! I am officially creeped out! Forget silly Hollywood teen horror movies. That beast is scarier than anything I’ve seen in years.
and we all thought thriller was just a neat little video ahead of its time. nobody saw this coming. michael tried to warn us.
Jeebus–who let him escape from his crypt?
I think this creature should be weighed against a duck and which ever way the scales fall it should be burnt anyway, just to be on the safe side. Burn its face first.
Then roast the duck.
This kid in my dorm room could wrap his nutsack around his penis twice - it was the oddest thing and he would do it in the hallway all too often - we nicknamed him Kruller - because it looked like a Kruller twisty donut…I would rather look at that again than these hands…
MJ has always had the creepiest hands - he used to have them taped in interviews like the one he did for the Indian guy a couple of years ago before the US Govt grabbed the torches and pitchforks and headed down the narrow streets of town to Neverland. The scary doctor who created MJ then had MJ come out and put on an impromptu vaudevillian review where he danced and sang “PurrinOnDaRizzzzzzzz” and then everyone loved him again.
Instead of using Jess’ rack to soften the blow, why not put up a story about something stupid Jess probably said and throw up more pictures of her instead of this withered freak? Just a thought.
First, I’d like to thank Brendan to NOT posting Wacko Jacko on the headline (though I’d rather have him put Scarlett up there, but hey). Second, what in the fuck is up with Jacko’s hand??? It almost looks like he’s got nail fungus or some shit on them. I didn’t even bother clicking on the other pics - thumbnails are good enough, thank you very much. I do agree though, that this “man” needs to go buried in a nice unmarked grave in the desert.
but burying him in the desert would screw up the ecology. i think he should just be shot into space. from a cannon. without a spacesuit.
“He got that way for the treatment he underwent for skin therapy trying to make his skin white.” Boy, he’s going to be mad now that he read (in another thread) that sexy Kim Kardashian prefers black guys…oh wait…never mind.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! HOLY F**K! I feel like I just opened up the Ark of the Covenant and my face is melting off of my skull. Now, I’m gonna be up all night, eyes wide open and rocking back and forth, hugging my security blanket. UGHGGHHHH!
Why does that mummy look like Michael Jackson? Wait, that IS Michael Jackson? Don’t bash him people. At least there will probably be a traveling exhibition of the artifacts found in his tomb in the next couple of years. History is fun.
Its close to midnight and something evils lurking in the dark
Under the moonlight you see a sight that almost stops your heart
You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it
You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes,
You’re paralyzed
do you think it is possible MJ thought the upcoming movie version of “The Simpsons” was going to be live-action and he’s auditioning for the role of Montgomery Burns? “EX-cellent!”