MISS USA KEEPS HER CROWN

So what was the fate of Tara Conner this morning? Well maybe 20 dollars will jog my memory … oh wait, that’s not gonna work is it.  Damn.  I could have really used 20 bucks.  Anyway, Donald Trump – who owns the Miss USA pageant – announced this morning that Tara will keep her title as Miss USA despite rumors of drug use, underage drinking and sexual misconduct.  Trump said:

"She's agreed to go into rehab. She knows that if she makes even the slightest mistake from here on, she will be immediately replaced.  I believe she can do a tremendous service to young people."

Conner then took the stage and thanked Trump for the second chance:

"In no way did I think it would be possible for a second chance to be given to me.  I've had a very big blessing bestowed on me. It truly takes someone with a wonderful heart, a heart of gold and a blessed soul."

Is it really a surprise that the beautiful 20-year-old girl whose sexy crime was getting drunk and then going down on Miss Teen USA was given a second chance.  Sexy chicks can do whatever they want.  They're like 007.  Tara could push my grandmother down the stairs and I would just say “wow, look at her go, you must work out."  But she really did seem grateful at the press conference.  Maybe now she'll use her powers of hotness for good.  Like I do with my karate.