ANGELINA JOLIE IS RICH

Angelina Jolie spent 700 dollars to check into Shutters on the Beach in Santa Monica on Friday for two hours so that she and her son Maddox could take a shower at the luxury hotel.  A source says:

"It was just very bizarre, when she and Brad Pitt own two houses here in Los Angeles, that she would need to spend that kind of money on a hotel room just so she and Maddox could shower."

Meanwhile, two blocks away from Shutters on Santa Monica’s third street promenade, filthy homeless lunatic Warren Ducket found a pith helmet in the dumpster behind Banana Republic.  When asked for a comment, Ducket mumbled, "Look at 'em! A hot day, don’t even got a helmet.  Not me though, I got. And what it can do too. God-Damn Teddy Roosevelt, That’s Who! Me! No lions on me! Jack-asses. Is what they are! Fuck ‘em. The people."  

Ducket also showed off a mostly working snorkel.  "All this water, gotta breathe, can't water and not breathe. Swimmin. In the water. Gotta! Protect ya from the sharks AND COPS. Too much then. Kill em! Just like Teddy."