February 3, 2007 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

PATRICK DEMPSEY HAS TWINS – Patrick Dempsey and his wife Jillian Dempsey are the proud new parents of twin baby boys.  The boys were born yesterday in Los Angeles with no complications.  Their names are Sullivan Patrick and Darby Galen.   Aww how precious.  No, not really.  Seriously, what are the odds boys named Sullivan and Darby will be able to throw a football without looking like total queers.  "Eeehhhhh…"  That was my impression of Darby Galen throwing a football.JOHNNY KNOXVILLE IS SINGLE – Johnny Knoxville and his wife Melanie are getting divorced.  They have been married for 11 years and have one daughter, 10 year old Madison.   Back in April of 2005, the hot rumor was that Knoxville had an affair with Jessica Simpson during the filming of "the Dukes of Hazard".  Which is pretty much why dudes like Knoxville come to Hollywood.  He should be back in Tennessee wearin a coon skin cap and working as a security professional, but instead he's punchin obsession worthy kitty based on a career where he gets whacked in the nuts by a midget in a tiny cowboy outfit. LINDSAY LOHAN IS JOBLESS –  Reps for Lindsay Lohan claim that she has stepped away from a role in "A Woman of No Importance" because her plan is to finish her current project and then focus on her sobriety.  Word around town however, is that the producers fired her because of her increasingly bratty behavior.  Who's telling the truth?  Who is lying?  Could even the council of heaven sort through this one? I don't know, my friends. I simply don't know.BLIND ITEMS ARE FUN – And finally, the best blind item of the past week, this one from the Daily Mirror UK: "Which American star's new relationship is a complete sham? The buxom babe has agreed – for a fee – to be seen out and about with her latest beau in a bid to quash persistent rumors about his sexuality."  Sounds a lot like Mayer and Simpson, but if Mayer is gay, it's news to me.  Gay guys don't normally dress like they got their clothes off a scarecrow.

(jessica's outfit reminds me of a great line from Colin Quinn: "you look like a last-second gift from the Hong Kong airport gift shop.")

Tags: jessica simpson john mayer johnny knoxville patrick dempsey

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