Kellie Pickler returned to American Idol last night and débuted a new song and new huge boobs. Ryan Seacrest asks her what she has spent her money on lately and Kellie says shoes, and Ryan says "just shoes?". It's actually kind of clever. Alright, fuck it, am I the only one on earth who doesn't think Seacrest is a homo? I just don't see it. Although maybe he got super gay this year and I don't know it because I haven't watched a single episode. Based on a recent poll of my grandparents, I'm a precious angel and shouldn't watch shows like that, although you'd never know it by reading my t-shirt with a kitten in sunglasses and the phrase "Here Comes Trouble!".