By brendon April 20, 2007 @ 7:51 AM

This audio tape – recorded last Wednesday, April 11th – of Alec Baldwin screaming like a maniac at his 11-year-old daughter in a voice mail pretty much typifies everything you ever hear about Alec Baldwin. He's an insane angry jackass with a hair-trigger temper, but man, he really does have a great voice. His delivery on lines like "you're a rude little pig" and "you don't have the brains or the decency as a human being…" is just top-notch. You really believe the person on the other end is a rude little pig. Baldwin really commits to the bit and sells it. And then you remember it's an 11-year-old little girl, probably with pig tails and hugging a kitty, and that 11-year-olds should be chasing fireflies and playing kick the can, not getting screamed at by self-important dickhead millionaires. Hey Alec, fuck you.

A transcript:  "Hey I wanna tell you something okay, and I wanna leave a message for you right now because again its 10:30 here in New York on a Wednesday and once again I've made an ass of myself trying to get to a phone to call you at a specific time. When the time comes for me to make the phone call I stop whatever I'm doing and I go and I make that phone call at eleven-o-clock in the morning in New York and if you don't pick up the phone at ten-o-clock at night and you don't even have that god damn phone turned on. I want you to know something okay, I'm tired of playing this game with you. I'm leaving this message with you to tell you, you have insulted me for the last time. You have insulted me, you don’t have the brains or the decency as a human being, I don't give a damn if you're 12-years-old, or 11-years-old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass, who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned, you have humiliated me for the last time with this phone, and when I come out there next week, I'm gonna fly out there for the day just to straighten you out on this issue, I'm gonna let you know just how disappointed in you I am and how angry I am with you that you've done this to me again. You have made me feel like shit and you have made me feel like a fool over and over and over again, and this crap you pull on me with this god damn phone situation that you would never dream of doing to your mother and you do it to me constantly, and over and over again. I am gonna get on a plane or I am gonna come out there for the day and I'm gonna straighten your ass out when I see you, do you understand me? I'm gonna really make sure you get it. Then I'm gonna get on a plane and I'm gonna turn around and I'm gonna come home. So you better be ready Friday, the 20th, to meet with me so I'm gonna let you know just how I feel about what a rude little pig you really are. You are a rude thoughtless little pig, okay."

(154) Comments

  1. avatar
    Mort 04/20/2007 09:17

    What a prick

  2. avatar
    Mort 04/20/2007 09:20

    And let’s not forget that rude little pigs come from rude big pigs

  3. avatar
    Lisa04 04/20/2007 09:21

    Whoa- what’s his problem?

  4. avatar
    The Lord Humungus The Warrior of the Wasteland The Ayatollah of Rock-and-Rollah 04/20/2007 09:24

    Hey cut the man some slack. Even after stealing the Glengarry Glen Ross leads the bitch couldn’t even make enough sales to win the steak knives, so fuck her.

  5. avatar
    Lightdragon 04/20/2007 09:24

    In NYC this is typical of the way a lot of (NOT ALL) the parents talk to their kids. So in all fairness this is not that bad. It’s funny to hear though and some of you might think he’s a prick for saying this.He might be but not for this.

  6. avatar
    Topper Harley 04/20/2007 09:25

    I love this guy. I would LOVE to hear what this rude little pig did to bring this on.

  7. avatar
    Coregasm 04/20/2007 09:26


  8. avatar
    Willie Beamin 04/20/2007 09:27

    Haha That’s funny

  9. avatar
    Bob 04/20/2007 09:29

    Too bad I don’t live closer to this child. I would be there with a baseball bat to meet this fucktard and show him what a rude thoughtless little pig he is. Some should not be allowed to breed.

  10. avatar
    Pedro! 04/20/2007 09:29

    now thats parenting

  11. avatar
    SashyBash 04/20/2007 09:29

    Sounds like my ex-husband talking to my kids. That’s probably the main reason the child doesn’t answer the phone!! What a fucking asshole.

  12. avatar
    cl9904 04/20/2007 09:30

    If this is really “typical” of how “a lot” of parents in NYC talk to their kids, then clearly there are a lot of parents in NYC who need their asses kicked. And I’d like to volunteer to begin the festivities by kicking the shit out of Alec Baldwin. What a self-important twat…

  13. avatar
    Willie Beamin 04/20/2007 09:31

    Sweet Avatar Mort

  14. avatar
    bryce 04/20/2007 09:34

    Lol. I wish I was his kid. The guy’s crazy. And I like that.

  15. avatar
    Brave Sir Robin 04/20/2007 09:35

    Lightdragon, 9:24, You stupid ass. Baldwin lives in LA…or Cuba, or something. I have fucking kids in NYC and I never fucking SCREAM AT THEM YOU FUCK!!! SO SHOW SOME FUCKING DECENCY AS A HUMAN BEING AND GO FUCK YOURSELF AND ALL YOUR STUPID LITTLE PIGGIES.

  16. avatar
    Brave Sir Robin 04/20/2007 09:37

    BTW, Phoebe Kates lives in NYC and look at her babies….

  17. avatar
    PollyAnna 04/20/2007 09:37

    Note to Alec* preteens are not noted for their reliability or responsibility, also they do not like to talk to big jerks who have nothing nice to say. If you love her leave a nice message and tell her when you will call again. If she wants to talk to you she will be sure to have her phone turned on.

  18. avatar
    Brave Sir Robin 04/20/2007 09:38

    And Lightdragon, I find your avatar stupid and literal…unlike my deepand thought provoking image.

  19. avatar
    PollyAnna 04/20/2007 09:42

    Also, if he is calling her at 11am then she won’t be getting that call at 10:30 pm. Unless he does time travel.

  20. avatar
    Eddie Munster 04/20/2007 09:42

    at first when i listened to this, i thought he was talking to a teenager. but then when he said 11 or 12 i got even more excited. Reminds me of the days i was that young.

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