I was gonna watch "Dancing with the Stars" this year to see one-legged contestant Heather Mills, but then I remembered I wasn't super super gay, so I didn't. Luckily I'm confident enough to watch clips on youtube, at least clips that are described as "Heather Mills falls". Obviously she's handicapped and we're supposed to pretend this is empoweringly heroic, but here's the thing: it's not. It's really not. She's kind of a bitch and she can't dance. She looks like a drunk on stilts. She looks like someone put a baby giraffe on skates and then pushed it. For three minutes, she looks so hopelessly lost and confused, I swear to christ if you could somehow get a monkey out of a time machine and then immediately put him on stage, he'd do as good or better. Oh, and THEN she falls down. Ta-da!
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(48) Comments
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First!
Really disgusting!!! Shame on you, the gayish dancer and the fake leg.
I get wood looking at her wooden leg. (JK)
McCartney is laughing his ass off. What’s next for Heather? Skydiving?
Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, I say.
Heather is further proof that rich Irish knighted guys shouldn’t drink either.
It really brings up disturbing questions about their marital “relations”. One would think one would have to be careful in ANY position.
http://www.newsoftheworld.co.uk/heather_1504.shtml
Lame. I was hoping the fake leg went flying into the stands and a pack of wolves began tearing at it only turn on that “male” dancer.
is it christmas? look at all these posts. next thing I know I’m going to get an email saying I’ve won a free ipod. oooh I hope I get the black one.
Richard: I bet he isn’t laughing. That peg-legged gold-digger just hopped off with $50 million. That’s a lot of booty, YAR!!!!
I like it when the red water comes out.
When my regime comes to power, I will outlaw wearing a vest with no shirt beneath it.
I can’t get the clip to play but it doesn’t matter. A one-legged person falling on TV while trying to dance isn’t heroic, they’re stupid. Know your limits.
The judges are so patronizing as well. “You fell over, but that’s OK because you are handicapped.” Bullshit. Next season they’ll have a kid with no legs drag himself around the stage and give him 10’s for trying so hard and ‘being brave’.
Laylo: I’ll just bet you DO hope you get the black one.
In unrelated news, she’s got a beat-up looking face. Sort of like Mad onna’s only less round and more pointy. They could defintiely be fug twins…
Rimors are spreading around, that this very girl made prons, were she had to eat solid white semen. And stop making fun about people with wood legs. At least she can hide her coke inside or slap vulgar people with it.
She totally looked like she purposely wanted to fall. You can tell in her face like oh this is the part where I fall and make people feel sorry for me! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Why does the monkey have to come through a time machine? I would think a taxi from the zoo would work.