MADONNA WANTS TO ADOPT. AGAIN.

The New York Post says that Madonna is going back to Malawi this weekend to look at adopting another baby.  Last October, of course, Madonna was in the small African country when she adopted a one-year-old boy who was in an orphanage because his mother passed away and his father could no longer care for him, or something.  I forget what the deal was there, it seemed pretty shady, but whatever, Page Six says:

"She's going to Africa on Saturday, and on Sunday her family will be one bigger," our spy predicted. But her rep, Liz Rosenberg, said, "Madonna is going to Africa to continue her work with the Raising Malawi organization. She is overseeing the building of a children's health-care center. She is absolutely not adopting another baby."

This is hard to figure out because on one hand, Madonna is a bitch, so I hope one of these stupid babies bites her and gives her some terrifying disease.  On the other hand, Africa sucks, and if a baby had a choice between eating scorpions for dinner or living in a giant London mansion, I'm guessing they'd choose the mansion.  In London his biggest problem will be the fog, in Africa, it will be mummy attacks.  The mummies apparently just kick in your front door and attack you.  That's what I read in science class.  Africa is a world leader in the production of horrifying viruses, but other than that it's like the god damned Flintstones.  I was watching one of these shows about it one time and I swear to god they were showing a jungle and in the background, a giant gorilla the natives called King King jumped up and pulled a pterodactyl out of the sky.  Swear to god, man!