April 13, 2007 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

What on earth is Hayden Panettiere doing?  Is she okay?  Has that other girl been injured in some fashion?  Looks like this case calls for me and the gang at the youth detective agency I formed when I was 10 to get back together!  Although … that may take some doing.  I heard Kelly became a prostitute.  And I think Gizmo got hooked on meth.  And Mulky was murdered by a loan shark.  Hm, it's kinda sad really.  I think maybe I won't get the old gang back together.  Jeez, thanks for draggin me down Hayden, ya' fuckin whore!

Tags: hayden panettiere

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