JESSICA BIEL IS PRETTY ALL THE TIME

By brendon May 31, 2007 @ 11:36 AM

Jessica Biel is so alarmingly normal it's freakin me out. I saw a monkey smoke a pipe and read a book one time and that seemed downright plausible compared to this.  I didn't even think trash bins and borax and fuzzy zebra slippers existed in the world of sexy Hollywood stars.  I just assumed she had servants for stuff like this, and by "servants", I mean "talking mice" and "fairies with wands" and instead of a car she got to meetings in a coach pulled by a Pegasus.  But pink robes and trash and goofy slippers?  No, no, that's not what the sexual escapades in my wish book looked like at all.

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73 Comments

(73) Comments

  1. gangreen 05/31/2007 11:52

    yeaaaaaa boyyyyyy. 

  2. God 05/31/2007 11:52

    FIRST!!!!

  3. God 05/31/2007 11:53

    son of a! Wasted too much time with the fancy lettering.

  4. gangreen 05/31/2007 11:55

    she looks great in the last shot w/ no make up. 95% of the "starlets" wish they could say the same. 

  5. gangreen 05/31/2007 11:56

    i smoked ya God. I bet it was the underlining that did you in. 

  6. bryce 05/31/2007 11:57

    If she asked me nicely I'd put it in her pooper.

  7. Seven 05/31/2007 11:58

    On a completely unrelated note, the Chupacabra is on the history channel right now. The real one.

  8. bryce 05/31/2007 11:59

    "i smoked ya God" you know that has to be some good shit ;-)

  9. thedirtycajun 05/31/2007 11:59

    first.  i mean first to post that has a job.  wait, is goofing off on the internet and walking around trying to look busy a job?  I would do jessica's slippers anyday of the week, except thursdays, thats when i play hockey.

  10. God 05/31/2007 12:00

    I bet she even looks hot when she's taking a dump. I'd wipe her ass for her any day. 

  11. God 05/31/2007 12:01

    yes cajun it is because I'm doing the same thing and getting paid for it.

  12. MrFadedGlory 05/31/2007 12:02

    I dunno….what's she using Borax, for?

  13. bryce 05/31/2007 12:04

    dirty: I have a job and you'd be shocked to find out that I am in a position of trust and power, and earn huge sums of money. Although having my own office helps :-)

  14. thedirtycajun 05/31/2007 12:04

    hey i ain't trying to get in no fight with god. he smites people n shit!

  15. SKINHEAD_REALDEAL 05/31/2007 12:06

    IS JESSICA BIEL MUSLIM? WHAT'S WITH THE HEADWEAR?

  16. Juan 05/31/2007 12:06

    I bet she spent an hour doing her makeup before she took out the trash that day.

     Oh, who am I kidding?  I'd hit it!

  17. gangreen 05/31/2007 12:06

    Cajun. i have a job…it's kickin' God's ass. Whooooooooooooo!

  18. God 05/31/2007 12:06

    Everyone remember to click the ads on this site.

  19. Juan 05/31/2007 12:07

    But she should have flashed the paparazzi.   THAT would teach them to invade her privacy!

  20. bryce 05/31/2007 12:08

    Juan: That would be one of the sweeter and less diseased kittens to punch in all of LA. And I would punch her kitten slowly and gently, but with firm, manly hands…

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