NICK CANNON IS ENGAGED. NICK CA-WHO?

The notion that fame and celebrity will get you unlimited hot trap has officially hits it's asinine zenith now that people who clearly aren't famous are marrying Victoria's Secret models.  TMZ says:

MTV kingpin Nick Cannon rocked the world of his longtime girlfriend, Victoria's Secret model Selita Banks — by busting out a HUGE 12 carat rock, and asking for her blinged-out hand in marriage. Obviously, she obliged.The couple, who attended the Metropolitan Museum of Art Costume Institute Gala, were ferried to Times Square in a Rolls Royce Phantom. But the real exercise in extravagance didn't begin until the words, "Selita will you marry me?" lit up on the giant Jumbotron in the Square.

Anyone know who the hell Nick Cannon is, by the way.  And what he does, other than act desperate by throwing millions of dollars at girls.  Handsome studs like me don't have to resort to such showy theatrics, but don't think I don't get my fair share of action.  Just last night I was flirting with hot single girls in my area, and all I needed was my cell phone!  From what the commercial told me, there were three of them, all in bikinis by the pool, giggling at my clever text messages when not playfully splashing or applying oil.  And it only cost me 4.99 for the first minute.  Checkmate, Nick Cannon!