POSH SPENDS MONEY WISELY

In Touch magazine says that Victoria Beckham has been forced to get creative with ways to piss away her husbands million dollar a week salary, but she was more than up for the challenge.

Victoria designed a $500,000 closet for her new L.A. home. It supposedly features a leather floor, Baccarat crystal chandelier, $80,000 Andy Warhol shoe print, a computer that tracks when she wears items of clothing and a camera to give her a 360-degree "cat scan" of her outfit before she steps out.

Wow I gotta get over to the Beckhams house.  This daffy bitch will buy anything.  I'll get a little monkey and we'll go into her closet and I'll say, "fashion monkey – DO YOUR STUFF!"  And then the little monkey will run around all crazy and I'll just grab something at random and put it on Posh.  There's no way me and the monkey could dress her any worse than she does now.

(and yes, you read that right.  it said a "leather floor".)