CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS A ROLE MODEL

I really don't think its too much to ask that all pregnant chicks look like Christina Aguilera.  And by that I mean, don't change in any way except for getting enormous boobs.  I don't need to see something kicking around inside your giant stomach like there's a damn alien in there who's gonna punch its way out then chase me across the room.  Pregnant chicks are so unnatural.  They're terrifying.  It seems like we should have a better system for this by now.  Can't we grow those little fuckers in a lab or something.  Some of the early kids may get giganticism or have glow in the dark tentacles or something, but look at Britney’s fat little lumps or that goblin Ben Affleck had.  The natural way isn't so great either, now is it.