BAM!

September 15, 2007 | celebrity | editor | 0 Comments

Can we just be serious for one second please. How GD amazing is it that Jordan Bratman gets to F Christina Aguilera? More people were killed by gorillas last year than dudes who pulled ass this far out of their league. I can't believe I never even got to sleep with her once. I think maybe she was put off by my promiscuous past. I made it clear to her that I'd never been with a prostitute (in this country) and I even showed her my negative test for STD's, but she wouldn't give it up. Granted my STD test was a true-false test that I wrote myself, and upon closer inspection it would appear I do in fact have several STD's, but the test is framed in a frame showing Tigger sitting on Winnie the Poohs tummy. Awwwww!

Tags: christina aguilera

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