Please know that if you're a sorority girl and you write an email and tell me to put something on the page, I'll probably do it. Because sorority girls are hot, and they usually put out. Fuck, if you want me to stand in your sorority house living room so you can whack golf balls at me, I'll probably do that too, because I figure there's at least a 98 percent chance a panty pillow fight will break out or you'll decide you need to practice French kissing on one another. This email is from Leslie, who I heard can tie a cherry stem into a knot with just her tongue.
My friend works at the Buffalo Club in Santa Monica. A couple days ago Donald Trump came in and left him a $10,000 tip! My friends think he's just trying to promote his celebrity Apprentice but whatever. He told me Donald hardly even talked to him until the end when he asked, "What's the biggest tip you ever got?" I guess Jerry Bruckheimer comes in a lot and once tipped him $500 on a $1000 tab. Trump just wanted to show he's got the biggest dick!
I hope that last part is just an expression, because you're not allowed to just drop your dick on a table in the middle of a restaurant. Trust me. Saying "I got your tip right here, honey" only makes it worse.
FIRST
wtf did he buy for 80 $ ?
They must have some really good nachos and mozzarella sticks, huh?
Fucking $36 bucks for McPasta? goddamn the golden arches is getting out of control.
LUCKY BASTARD! guess trump aint as tight as i thought
good PR move for the Donald. He's a jerk but kudos to hooking up a waiter with some dough.
Maybe he felt bad that she was flat chested and wanted her to have a boob job?
It is Christmastime and the Donald wanted to play Santa.
Hey it's the holiday season and he gave the guy a great tip. The Donald does this a couple of times a year so even if you don't like him you got to give him credit when he does something like this.
Damn. This would have been so much hotter had it been for a girl, not some dude. Trump, aim for skirts next time, OK?
"$9 for a fucking soup? What am I rich or something? …Oh yeah!!!!"
5 bucks for iced tea?? SOMEBODY SHould be arrested!
Also, when you do drop your dick on the table, make sure the waitress has taken away the big bowl of steaming hot clam chowder.
Percy "Oh God, the Pain" Sugden
He left the money for a sex change, then. Not a boob job…
Who the eff sells Iced Tea for $5??? It's basically water boiled with weeds.
Like whatever, I guess. Sorority girls, always talkin bout cock and hammer.
PercySugden, is that why they banned you from the Perkins Pancake House?
If you look closely, the 10,000 tip was added after the fact. The penmenship looks different. Nice try
…..later that evening, the waiter could be seen earning his tip with his lips firmly grasping the Donald's throbbng love tool……
No matter what the reason, thats pretty freakin sweet. Note to self, if I ever
get promoted toend up as a waiter, and Donald Trump comes in, make sure he gets seated in my section.I noticed the hot soup was $18 for two, $9 each. If you wanted it luke warm, it's just $7. Waiter's thumb in the soup is 3 bucks extra. Chef hair or fly in soup is a $1 surcharge.
Yup, ten minutes later in his limo Donald had his apprentice report the card stolen…