By brendon January 15, 2008 @ 12:48 PM

A new book by biographer Andrew Morton (the same one who said Cruise is second in command in the church of scientology) says that after Tom Cruise dated Sofia Vergara and before he dated Katie Holmes, the person he really wanted to date was Jennifer Garner. says:

Morton writes that Cruise left messages on the Alias star's voice mail in 2004 asking "if she knew what freedom was," but his advances were rebuffed.
The book also claims Holmes signed a contract to commit to Scientology and that her father brokered a high-paying pre-nup.

There's actually an old story that, before he met Katie, Tom made a list of names of girls that would be good for his career.  The list was Scarlett Johansson, Kate Bosworth and Katie Holmes.  Some say Jessica Alba was on the list as well.  Scarlett was actually cast in "Mission: Impossible III" but dropped out when it became clear Cruise was trying to convert/F her.   He even brought her to the Scientology center in Los Angeles where he spoke to her for two hours about the cult, the revealed a secret room where a table full of high ranking scientologists had been waiting to have dinner with them.  That was when Scarlett took off.  Then Tom took out a crystal ball and shouted, "After her you fools, she's getting away!"  Then he watched the chase in a big leather chair in front of a wall of monitors and tapped his fingers together.  "Oh yes", sources claim he said.  "My kitten she likes the pain."

(51) Comments

  1. avatar
    MasterShake 01/15/2008 12:56

    Freedom is really all about using your mind powers to fly.

  2. avatar
    Keyser S 01/15/2008 12:58

    I have nothing to say about this other than I really, really, really want to bone the pantsless snorg t-shirts girl.

    That is all.

  3. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/15/2008 12:58

    Jennifer may have converted, but her lips would have never followed

  4. avatar
    Seksi Taime? 01/15/2008 12:59


    i'd tap jenni 

  5. avatar
    dooter 01/15/2008 12:59

    Funny, my kitten, she likes the pain as well.  We have so much in common Tom, call me!

  6. avatar
    Kirby 01/15/2008 13:01

    Why doesn’t Tom just woo Britney into the great Scientology abyss so we can all sleep better at night?

  7. avatar
    Pennsylvania's Finest 01/15/2008 13:05

    he can have my wife for a case of beer

  8. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/15/2008 13:09

    The power of love is a curious thing. Makes one man weep, and another man become a messiah of his religion…

    ….wait, I got that wrong. 

  9. avatar
    shanty irish 01/15/2008 13:09

    y'know, I think I'd rather listen to Tom go on all night about xenu verses Ben Affleck go on all night about the red sox. 

  10. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/15/2008 13:11

    Keyser, I second that!


    The Snorg Tees girl is extremely sexy. 

  11. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/15/2008 13:14

    *before some of you new Durdenites sign in and try to add to the comments, could you do us regulars all a favor? Could you add a touch of comedy instead of your dim-witted outlooks?


    Thank you kindly,


  12. avatar
    Dr. Gonzo 01/15/2008 13:15

    There's an old story that, before I met my wife, I asked Scarlett Johanssen to marry me. 

    It turned out about as well for me as it did for Tom. Oh well, at least I'm not batshit crazy. 

  13. avatar
    Dirty Hairy 01/15/2008 13:20

    Won't someone go ahead and crucify his dumb ass and get it over with?

  14. avatar
    Slack Jawed 01/15/2008 13:21

    Id hit Jennifer!

  15. avatar
    Stinky Pete 01/15/2008 13:22

    Isn't Jennifer Garner about a foot taller than Tom Thumb Cruise?  Instead of simply wearing flats on the red carpet like Katie does, she would have had to amputate her legs below the knee.

    As lawsuit happy as Cruise has been in the past, I'll be very curious to see if he sues the author of this book for slander.  I have to think the last thing Scientologists would want is for Tom to have to testify about their religion under oath.  Instead of Tom placing his hand on a Bible, maybe the bailiff could hold out a copy of Dianetics or a Cloverfield plush doll.

  16. avatar
    Observer 01/15/2008 13:22


    Tom and I pretty much have the same list.

    The exceptions…….I don't see Ashlee Simpson and Kirsten Dunst on his list.  Other than that…it appears that we would both bang any hot chick that would let us bang them.

    So far…..I'm at zero……what about you guys?

  17. avatar
    Chris19 01/15/2008 13:25

    Keyser, I third that. Snorg Tees girl wears the "who needs pants" shirt very well.

    As for Tom Cruise, what more can possibly be said about him and his kooky cult? He's the "second in command"? How can anyone take that "religion" seriously? That would be like calling the Pope the "Commander in Chief" of the Catholic Church.

    I was probably around 12 when I first heard of scientology. I think I skimmed though the first chapter of Dianetics before realizing that it was nothing more than a money-making scam wrapped up in psuedo religious packaging. Again, I was 12. This dumbass is a grown man who was intelligent enough to get dozens of movie roles playing the same goddamn character.

  18. avatar
    Observer 01/15/2008 13:25

    True story………….

    My house is closer to Kate Bosworth's than Tom Cruise's is.

    True story….really.

  19. avatar
    DB's Treasure 01/15/2008 13:25

    Scientologists don't believe in Autism, but they sure do believe suing the clothes right off your back. 

    'bunch of hypocritical cunt muscles. 

  20. avatar
    Stinky Pete 01/15/2008 13:26

    Oh… you guys are way late on the Snorg Tees girl, I called dibs on her last week on the Heidi Montag thread.  Something about the demure way she's nibbling on that finger, with those eyes peering deep into my pants soul.

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