Singing, acting, dancing, and now directing! Is there anything Madonna can't do?!?! Yes, as it turns out. Those things would include, but aren't limited too, singing, acting, dancing and directing. The first reviews for Madonna's directorial debut are in. Try and guess if they're good. The AP says:
Critics slipped their knives into Madonna's directorial film debut "Filth and Wisdom" on Thursday, but stopped short of a fatal twist.
"Madonna has made a movie and it is utter trash — pseudo psychology, cheap make-up, bad lighting and a hell of a lot of scenes shot without rehearsal," said the daily Der Tagesspiegel.
To be fair some people did afford her some very faint praise, and I just edited that part out because I hate Madonna and so fuck her, but overall people hated it. The very best review was 3 out of 5 stars, and there was only one of those. The most scathing review was this one from London and this time I'm not skipping over the pleasantries.
Well, it had to happen. Madonna has been a terrible actor in many, many films and now she has graduated to being a terrible director. She has made a movie so incredibly bad that Berlin festival goers were staggering around yesterday in a state of clinical shock, deathly pale and mewing like maltreated kittens. Madonna has made a dumb and tacky comedy-drama about three people sharing a flat in a quaintly conceived "London" and her conception of super-cool streetwise reality is so clueless it's as if Marie Antoinette had made a film about cake-munching peasants.
Madonna's script is a nightmare of crass and fatuous stereotypes: south Asians, Jews, gays - no one escapes her lack of insight or common sense. Despite living in Britain for many years, she has only the sketchiest notion of what the place is like. Her film reaches a Zen state of pure offensive awfulness when the lap-dancer's mentor comes round with a gigantic wad of £20 notes.
How is it possible that the exhilaratingly talented star from that time has dwindled to such a dullard?
The only part I would disagree with was that she was once an "exhilaratingly talented star". At her zenith, she was average looking, an average singer, and an average dancer. Her only real talent was recognizing cool new producers and leeching off of them. And if that sort of thing was so praiseworthy, my ability to score with the sexy teen runaways I give rides too would mean I'm also an "exhilarating talent" and not a "sexual predator".
no comment.
FIST!
Thank you, England, for taking her off our hands.
Damn it and damn you paul black!
my making "no comment" was actually a comment! See?!
Why doesn't this old broad just fucking go away? She's annoyed me for years the whore.
"Oi, eye maid a movie, 'ol chap."
Two words to the whore….bitch slap.
i'd like to see any of you, Fearless Leader included, get lucky hit the jackpot, spend the next 10 years wanting for nothing and surrounded by people who constantly tell you what a genius you are without having to actually do anything……
then let's see what sort of perspective and/or facility for self-criticism you are left with, what kind of quality work you produce.
give the woman a break. instead of viewing her through the lens of an artist judge her for what she is: a parasite. she doesn't kill her host, she doesn't feed (exclusively) on excretory matter, only in rare cases (e.g. britney spears) does she effect genetic mutations. All things considered, as a parasite Madonna is not so terrible.
She should just stick to singing.
No, wait, I take that back.
She should spend all of her time
abductingadopting Africanchildren whose parents aren't carefulorphans.I love Der Tagesspiegel, especially the Sunday comics section with Der Flukenbergerdasvonfucknut Dilbert
Most of the comments from Hanoi Jane could be used on this post. Oh, and 03ama still sucks.
to paraphrase Gonzo; how can she live in London for years and not have a clue about the city? i am pretty sure you could say the same about the queen…..living in a zillion dollar house with 50 slaves working for you, instead of living in a shit bin and eating bangers and mash every night can do that to you. mind you, she has the shitty teeth down pat.
"Her only real talent was recognizing cool new producers and
leeching off ofblowing them with her snaggleteeth."fixed
So Percy - do you think Madge would find a home on Coronation Street?
Instead of wasting everyone's time with her rubbish why doesn't she encourage her hubby to make a new film. He actually has talent,where she is a bitter,used-up,old cunt.
gravy: i was unfortunate enough to go to the premier of Guy's movie Revolver….so i give you….
Instead of wasting everyone's time with her rubbish why doesn't she encourage her hubby to make a new film. He actually HAD talent…fixed
When did this turn into a Filmdrunk posting? Oh last two threads ago. WTF!
The best thing Madonna ever did was her SEX book but that lacked good beaver shots. Her comeback should be another book.
Justify my love was a pretty hot video too. I'll give her credit there as well.
Don't go for second best, baby….
Madonna
has made a movie and itis utter trashFIXED