Richie Sambora (pictured above not doing situps) was arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol in Laguna Beach, California, last night just before midnight. TMZ says:
(he) was pulled over by the Laguna Beach PD just before 11:00 PM last night. Cops say they observed him driving erratically in a black Hummer and pulled him over. He failed numerous field sobriety tests and was detained for DUI. At the station a cooperative Sambora opted to take a blood test rather than blow into a breathalyzer. Laguna Beach PD tells TMZ there's no indication of drugs.
He was let go around 4am. Then he proceeded to punch out hookers until he literally died. No, not really. Although that would have been nice. Jeez this post was boring.
UPDATE – okay, i take it back. this just got interesting:
A police source tells TMZ that Richie Sambora's 10-year-old daughter, Ava, was in the car with him when he was busted for DUI Tuesday night.
Ava's mom is Heather Locklear.
driving drunk with your little girl in the car. well done. just once it would be nice to read about a celebrity who wasn't a complete fucking menace.
UPDATED UPDATE – Now TMZ says Sambora may be charged with child endangerment. Chris Beniot says, "whatever."
Looks like he waddled too close to the sun on wings of french fries.
His tits are bigger than hers.
I'm not sure if downing jars of mayo is considered DUI.
This makes me a sad taco. :(
Fuck…I gotta learn how to play guitar and eat at mcDonald's everyday.
Supersize this!! Denise!
Sunburn – Dunlop's Disease – Man tits – Midlife crisis + Famous musician = Apparent fuckability by hot chick.
Hey, I didn't invent the math, I just crunched the numbers.
Who????? Wasn't he in like Tesla or something? Maybe it was Trixter…
I thought he was dead…
Who is this guy? And why is he so ugly?
Or was it Van Hagar?
The world may never remember…or care.
So the fuck what…he'll get a slight slap on the wrist then go back to tappin' Denise's hot fuckin' body.
P.S. How the fuck he ever left HEather Locklear is beyond me. She is my all-time, hands-down, hottest desired lay of all time.
OK…time to go home and rub one out.
HOW NOW DICK SAMSHITTA, BET YOU REGRET FINAGLING THOSE COCKCLIMBING FUCKLEBUSTER SHITWIGGLES EH? WELL GIVE ME A CALL
wow, i thought the strict training and diet routine that he always follows didn't allow drinking.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Crabbus? What the fuck was that?
At the station a cooperative Sambora opted to take a blood test rather than blow into a breathalyzer.
Did he feel too gay doing the breathalyzer, or was he thinking at least a free AIDS test wouldn't make the night a total wash?
Cause I wanted…wanted….
Burgers and Fries
Sing with me!
I thought Denise Richards dumped mantittie lobsterboy a while back.
I worked with a girl that used to babysit Bon Jovi.
Said he was a little prick, even then.
Damn! Denise Richards looks good!
I would wade thru chest-high eviscerated remains of Amy Winehouse and her husband to nail that…
shant,
From a lawyer that defends this sort of thing, he advises people:
Always take the blood test — gives you a little more time. Also, never do the roadside sobriety tests. You're going to fail it anyway and it's just more visual evidence of how fucked up you were. Go to the holding cell and sit there. Do nothing else. Sit like a fucking statue, since that's filmed too. They have to observe you for a while. Don't give them more evidence than they need.
Also, I'm not a lawyer, I had one buy me a drink in a bar once and Matlock was on it the background…
*Chodin strolls up, licking a giant rainbow sucker*
What’s up retards? I see the shit still rolls downhill over here.
[feel free to insert some hilarious joke about "Chodin strolls up, licking a giant cock" kuddos kids]
Most cops only give one field sobriety test. Richie Sambooka was given numerous.
He must be special!
Fuck this shit, I’m gonna’ go lay into a Dead Nazi.
PSYCH !!!!!!! Hey Pepper, how’s the blood clot inyour ass doing?