OK magazine says today that 15-year-old Miley Cyrus has signed a multi-million dollar book deal with Disney books to write her autobiography. To recap, she's 15. And she's writing her life story. And it will be a book. That will get published. And I think I speak for everyone when I say, yes, finally. As a powerful Hollywood insider I was able to get an early copy of the book, and here's a world exclusive first look.
CHAPTER 9 – July 10, 2004
Today I saw a horsey. I said, Hello Horsey.
THE END
Holy crap! What a book! What excitement! My heart is in my throat from all the tension! I liked the part about the horsey, but lets not forget about the horsey!
Dear biggus' diary,
Today I saw some jailbait. I said, "Hello, jailbait, now please don't stare at me with that look in your eyes."
Then the cops came.
The End
hopefully her book details what she calls "special time with daddy"…
because, honestly, ol' achey breaky is taking his cut, one way or another
She might be 15, but I heard she is as tight as a 13 year old!
She is in need of a good ol'fashioned ass ramming.
The fun unauthorized bio will be out in ten years after she has been abandonded by the Diseney ZOG machine and becomes a burned out husk with a case the black syph and three halfwit children.
The only thing horsey about this are her fucked up teeth.
THIS CHICK IS SO FUCKIN ANNOYING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
What has a 15 year old got to write about? Her life's no more special than any other 15 year old that gets grounded, kisses her female friends and dresses provocatively like someone twice her age, with a hillbilly one-hit wonder mullet-haired daddy.
WHAT FUCKING LIFE?! Holy shit, she spent time time in a recording studio? And yeah, what, maybe in the tub with daddy. Oh, you have to give me a fucking break. This shit is pissing me off.
Right after CNN publishes an article about how everyone is publishing their autobiographies but no one wants to read them. I got mine ready to go. Who wants to read?
Chapter 3 : Today I had some red stuff come out of my secret place and I told Daddy and he said he had the perfect thing to stop the red stuff , it felt funny , but that daddy sure knows what he is doing!
I AM SOOO FUCKING ANNOYING!!!!!! LOLZ!!1! she nothing like the totally awesome Britbrit. not like Britbrit started as an underaged no talent piece of ass pimped out by disney!!! ROTFJO!!! later fags!!! gotta go earn my magic card money by blowing the old man down the street!!! BRB!!!
True Story:
PEPPER collects Hannah Montana Cards!
Maybe she can spend the money from the book deal on her fucking teeth. Invisalign, sweetheart, read up on it.
True Story:
PEPPER was Hannah Montana and Miley Cyrus for Halloween last year
Hey deadfuk2, I'm the old man you blow down the street.
your spunk tastes like coffee!!! OMFG!!!1 you should cut back or you coud get a headache!!!LOL!!! what a burn!!!! ROTFJOchodin!!!!
CHAPTER 10 - July 11, 2004
Today I went back to visit my friend Horsey. Horsey must have been happy to see me 'cause when I petted him, a big slimy worm thingee came out between his legs. I was curious so I licked it. It tasted yukky, but Horsey made a sound like he liked it. I think I'll go back tomorrow and if the worm comes out again, I may try putting it in my mouth.
THE END
I can't wait for the entry when she writes about how daddy fingerbanged her while he hummed achy breaky heart while she pulled his mullet!
CHAPTER 1 - Nov. 23 2002
I can't believe I turned 10 years old today. For my birthday, dad said he was getting me a pearl necklace. I was so excited!! Hehe. He said this necklace is a special liquid pearl and I can only have it if I rub his magic genie. It was the first time I saw a magic genie. Anyway, after 10 minutes of rubbing, I finally got the necklace. It was so beautiful!! It was the bestest birthday ever!
This bitch will be spat out the bottom of the porn industry in less than a decade. Once she's legal it'll take a year or so to fuck herself up, then she'll be doing double anal fisting for loose change…
And big daddy Billy Ray Syphillis will be asking for his cut.