By brendon April 10, 2008 @ 6:30 AM

Way back in February there was a post on here, thanks to video by Redban, showing Ashlee Simpson wearing an engagement ring, and now the master of deception has finally come clean and admitted that she and Pete Wentz are engaged.  Ashlee says…

"We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I, and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best," Simpson said in a statement posted on "Yes, we are thrilled to share that we are happily engaged. Thank you for all of your support and well wishes – it means the world to us. We consider this to be a very private matter, and we wanted to be the first to tell you and to hear it straight from us."

Honest to god, would you rather be locked in a room with Alien, Frankenstein with an axe, or Ashlee Simpson.  I don’t know for sure why Pete Wentz (who could nail 17-year-old-groupie-ass every single night) is doing this, but I’m pretty sure it has something to do with being dumb.


(71) Comments

  1. avatar
    SasquatchWOV 04/10/2008 06:40

    Great!  They can now get to the business of producing the most mediocre brood of halfwitted children in the history of the world.

  2. avatar
    Quinlan 04/10/2008 06:40

    I now pronounce you Emo and LipSinc, you may punch the kitten!

  3. avatar
    RegDunlop 04/10/2008 06:40

    i guess closet space wont be a problem. she hangs her clothes, he wears them.

  4. avatar
    sfumato 04/10/2008 06:41

    Lets hope she will be Fall Out Boys Yoko Ono and break up that sorry waste of good gear…lord knows its the only gig she can get….besides porno i mean and now that that pesky nose is outta the way she should be able complete a deep throat on Pete

  5. avatar
    Ass Tagger 04/10/2008 06:46

    The person who writes these things really confuses the hell out of me.  He practically worships Jessica Simpson even though she's as dumb as ass-crack lint, but would seemingly choose an axe-wielding Frankenstein over Ashlee Simpson???

    Sure, Ashlee Simpson's probably not too bright, either… and yes, she's had plastic surgery, but I think she's pretty hot and wouldn't think twice about pounding her kitty until the ASPCA picketed outside of my front yard.

  6. avatar
    pepper 04/10/2008 06:46



  7. avatar
    pepper 04/10/2008 06:48

      "You may kiss the Bride"


      I want to be there when those words are spoken…. Who will reach first? 

  8. avatar
    Mo 04/10/2008 06:49

    Forget groupie ass, now that she finally looks decent, THIS is what she picks? 

  9. avatar
    frankXchange 04/10/2008 06:51

    Have you noticed that all these little rockers (and they're all tiny) never produce a single noteworthy song after they start dating these celebretards?

    Frankenstein would be a better conversationalist, though it's always 'revenge this' and 'destroy humanity that' and 'please don't smoke – it upsets me'.  The Alien, on the other hand,  is kind of sexy in its own 'ultimate death machine' kind of way. Conversations tend to really short, though all that lubricant/hardening spit is kind of kinky.  Golly, this is tough.  What's the third option again?

  10. avatar
    Silverback 04/10/2008 06:54

    Ah yes, I remember marriage. Hiding in the cedars… waiting for the lights to go completely out. Enjoy that Petey.

  11. avatar
    Robert_Paulson 04/10/2008 06:54

    I read that "Pele" not Pete and for once I actually gave a damn about this skanks life.

  12. avatar
    Peter Dragon 04/10/2008 06:55

    Oh yeah, this will last *cough-bullshit* I mean look at them – I haven't seen or bigger missmatch of a couple since Klum and Seal. The guy looks like a dirty homeless tranny, while she (attempts) looks like a prissy, airheaded homecoming queen…

    All I know is in the end, we better get a sex tape out of this… (w/ anal) cause something tells me Ashlees the more talented sword swallower of the two Simpson sisters.

  13. avatar
    Dowdy Hoody 04/10/2008 06:58

    They go together like Shit & Piss

  14. avatar
    tangocash00001 04/10/2008 07:01

    no more threesomes for Mr. Simpson and the kids

  15. avatar
    RonDogg 04/10/2008 07:03

    LOL at the new age of 'Musicians'






  16. avatar
    yohnskull22 04/10/2008 07:05

    "We know there has been a lot of speculation recently about Pete and I, and we wanted our fans to be the first to know, because you guys are the best,"

    1. Its "Pete and ME!!!!!"  you stupid ignorant cunt (and the rest of you out there who all get this wrong)
    2. "because you guys are the best" – Never a more stupid, vapid, talentless cunt existed.  I'm sure of it.
  17. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 04/10/2008 07:07

    Where is it that lesbians can get married legally?  i thought the jesus cockgobblers squashed that out.

  18. avatar
    cheese 04/10/2008 07:09

    bah! who cares?

  19. avatar
    Nathan03 04/10/2008 07:15

    yohnskull 07:05

    It's "It's." I'm sure of that.

  20. avatar
    JIMBONE JONES 04/10/2008 07:17

    I thought they were identical twins or something but i guess they just have the same hairstylist and makeup people.

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