By brendon July 17, 2008 @ 12:55 PM

I don’t like when the Sad Cartoon Turtle smiles, because then it ruins her nickname.  She needs to do her sexy look (ahem) for the name to work.  Anyway, Maggie went down to the Titanic, got an outfit then went on David Letterman to promote the new Batman movie.  And it’s a good thing.  I didn’t even know there was a new Batman movie until right at this moment.  At least this is a good excuse to ask every producer that hires Maggie Gyllenhaal as the sexy female lead a question:  um … really?  Seriously?  How fucking high are you?  I wouldn’t fuck her even if I had 10 dicks.  I don't know what that means but it sounds like an insult, so there.  Take that.

(106) Comments

  1. avatar
    scum 07/17/2008 13:13

    Shes cute in your buddies little sisters way. I would still do her because im a guy.

  2. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 07/17/2008 13:14

    Here ass looked pretty damn good in "Stranger Than Fiction!"


  3. avatar
    Rick (with a silent P) 07/17/2008 13:16

    as a guy, I concur with scum re doing her…but she needs to quit raiding her Nana's closet for evening wear…

  4. avatar
    mephistopheles jefferson 07/17/2008 13:17

    NOT PICTURED: Her breasts.

  5. avatar
    dirtydiane 07/17/2008 13:19

    homely, homely, homely.

  6. avatar
    ososexilexi 07/17/2008 13:20

    To all the dudes who have said (and will say) they'd hit it; Fuck you guys. What is with the beastiality theme today? First it was calamari now it's turtle? Set some standards for yourselves!

  7. avatar
    ohmwrecker 07/17/2008 13:22

    That dress sucks, but she is pretty hot in"The Secretary".

  8. avatar
    Bulb 07/17/2008 13:23

    Stan Laurel fucked this woman 80 years ago.

    He couldn't help it.

  9. avatar
    Just the Tip 07/17/2008 13:25

    Lexi:  You chimed in with the calamari earlier.

    She's only hot in "The Secretary" because she takes the spanks like a champ.

  10. avatar
    Ponyboy 07/17/2008 13:26

    oh so clever, as usual. (can you actually hear the collective sound of readers rolling their eyes?)

  11. avatar
    ososexilexi 07/17/2008 13:27

    Only after octopus was mentioned. Or was it squid? Fuck it. Either way, you people are disgusting.

  12. avatar
    Evil Malcom Norris 07/17/2008 13:32

    where is the skanky vid?

  13. avatar
    Smeg McMuffin 07/17/2008 13:32

    She's cute in a 'drape a flag over her face and fuck her for glory' way



  14. avatar
    Mac-Daddy 07/17/2008 13:33


    Personally, I'd never "Hit it"

    I prefer to "Tap dat", "throw one in 'er", "give 'er a go", "toss one in'er" or maybe "rape that with gusto"

    But never "hit it!"

  15. avatar
    Just the Tip 07/17/2008 13:34

    Lexi:  Are you upset because you were left in the corner playing with yourself back at the Brolin & Wright thread?

  16. avatar
    Otis Fenchlark 07/17/2008 13:35

    If she's homely, than I like homely.


  17. avatar
    Otis Fenchlark 07/17/2008 13:35

    DAMMIT!  I grammar't meself!

  18. avatar
    ham sandwich 07/17/2008 13:36

    Fugly. Would you rather…

    Dunst or this mirror-cracker?

  19. avatar
    TW 07/17/2008 13:37

    She's uuugly.

  20. avatar
    scum 07/17/2008 13:37

    JTT, no Lexi is just jelous of the new talent. It's ok baby I still got your back, and front, and mouth.

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