THE SAD CARTOON TURTLE IS SMILING

I don’t like when the Sad Cartoon Turtle smiles, because then it ruins her nickname.  She needs to do her sexy look (ahem) for the name to work.  Anyway, Maggie went down to the Titanic, got an outfit then went on David Letterman to promote the new Batman movie.  And it’s a good thing.  I didn’t even know there was a new Batman movie until right at this moment.  At least this is a good excuse to ask every producer that hires Maggie Gyllenhaal as the sexy female lead a question:  um … really?  Seriously?  How fucking high are you?  I wouldn’t fuck her even if I had 10 dicks.  I don't know what that means but it sounds like an insult, so there.  Take that.

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Tagged in: maggie gyllenhaal

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