JESSICA NEEDS TO PUT SOME CLOTHES ON

People magazine says that dozens of hillbillies were shocked when Jessica Simpson took the stage in a sexy dress in Nashville on Saturday night.

Wearing a short and sparkly black frock with a plunging neckline that had camera operators on high alert for a wardrobe malfunction, Jessica Simpson made her Grand Ole Opry debut Saturday night."I can't believe I am here!" Simpson, 28, said.Audience members, it seemed, couldn't believe her costume choice. "I think she should have put some clothes on," one viewer said. While another one responded to how she liked Simpson's performance with: "I loved that new girl, Crystal [Shawanda] – and she was dressed appropriately."

These people are right to be outraged.  I didn't go and People magazine didn't ask me what I thought but if I did and if they had, I would have said, "It was an outrage.  We came here to listen to music about drinking whisky and domestic violence and reasons why black people shouldn’t be allowed to vote, then Jessica came out in a short skirt?!?!  It just ruined the whole night!”