09.09.2008 JESSICA NEEDS TO PUT SOME CLOTHES ON

People magazine says that dozens of hillbillies were shocked when Jessica Simpson took the stage in a sexy dress in Nashville on Saturday night.

Wearing a short and sparkly black frock with a plunging neckline that had camera operators on high alert for a wardrobe malfunction, Jessica Simpson made her Grand Ole Opry debut Saturday night.
"I can't believe I am here!" Simpson, 28, said.
Audience members, it seemed, couldn't believe her costume choice. "I think she should have put some clothes on," one viewer said. While another one responded to how she liked Simpson's performance with: "I loved that new girl, Crystal [Shawanda] – and she was dressed appropriately."

These people are right to be outraged.  I didn't go and People magazine didn't ask me what I thought but if I did and if they had, I would have said, "It was an outrage.  We came here to listen to music about drinking whisky and domestic violence and reasons why black people shouldn’t be allowed to vote, then Jessica came out in a short skirt?!?!  It just ruined the whole night!”


(66) Comments

  1. Sandbox1108 09/09/2008 13:41

    first

  2. Lady Stardust 09/09/2008 13:43

     Is this the same concert where she kept threatening to upchuck? Not a bad idea, that. Girlfriend IS getting a bit fleshy.

  3. scum 09/09/2008 13:43

    So you can fuck your sister, make shine, hang blacks, watch Nascar and love Bush but god forbid a woman shows some skin.

  4. Rick (with a silent P) 09/09/2008 13:43

    Kim Jong Il and I see nothing wong with her crothing…it's her singing that makes us clinge…

  5. Big Smelly Dirt Cock 09/09/2008 13:44

    You're listening to shitty music a place called the "Grand Ole Opry", lighten the fuck up.

  6. readykilowatt 09/09/2008 13:46

    Hillbillies are more accustomed to seeing jugs in bands not on women.

    If she makes that noise when Romo fucks her I hope he has a ball gag for her.

  7. Caroline 09/09/2008 13:46

    I just don't understand how someone so pretty can look so stupid when they sing!

  8. Just the Tip 09/09/2008 13:46

    These are the same folks that no doubt, hooped & hollered at her on screen in The Dukes of Hazzard.

    Betcha' a nickle, dey got the poster right 'chere in the livin' room.  Right b'tween the wabbit ears for the tv.

  9. godfather_kevin 09/09/2008 13:50

    I love looking at her…except for when she sings.  I seriously just want to punch her in the face.

  10. Tyler02 09/09/2008 13:50

    She's looking a bit on the heavy side…

  11. Tito's Abdomen 09/09/2008 13:50

    It's her own fault. Nobody forced her to sing to them fucking rednecks.

  12. ososexilexi 09/09/2008 13:54

    Fuck, that's conservative compared to the fashion that I sport. I'm backing Jess on this one. Get over it, people. Go jack off to Sarah Palin or something. Just loosen the fuck up at any and all costs.

  13. JustBeachy 09/09/2008 13:55

    Aren't these the same damn people who worshipped Dolly Parton? What is the big difference??

    Kevin, I want to punch her too. The way she rolls her head all over the place, it looks like its about to fall off. More evidence that its probably completely empty and that Tony Romo is a total moron for dating this chick.

     

  14. dirtydiane 09/09/2008 13:57

    When the arm fat comes shooting out the sleeve like a tube of toothpaste, it's time to hit the Britney Spears Gym for Recovering Psychotic Fatties, Jess.  Just sayin'….southern belle to southern belle and all.

  15. Evil Malcom Norris 09/09/2008 13:58

    Fcuking farmers. How can you not love the cleavage?!

  16. Rick (with a silent P) 09/09/2008 13:58

    "Aren't these the same damn people who worshipped Dolly Parton? What is the big difference??"

    actually…Dolly has talent…her ginormous fake tits are a bonus… 

  17. Evil Malcom Norris 09/09/2008 13:58

    Though, the yodeling was cruelesome.

  18. someoneluvsu 09/09/2008 13:58

    Blacks can vote?  Holy Hell, the next thing you know, one one them will be wantin to run for office. 

  19. mom2ross 09/09/2008 13:59

    Aren't these the same damn people who worshipped Dolly Parton? What is the big difference??

    Talent, JustBeachy.

  20. Beerad 09/09/2008 14:00

    Jessica looks like a broke ass Dolly Parton

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