NICK IS GETTING OUT 3 MONTHS EARLY

People magazine says that Nick Hogan will be released from jail on October 21st, nearly three months early, because of credits earned for good behavior and working.  He will have served 5 months of an 8 month sentence.  When asked for a comment, his friend whom he essentially killed said…

Oh that's right.  John Graziano can't talk anymore because Nick Hogan had to show how cool he is by racing through the streets of Tampa.  Hey remember Nick crying like a little girl with a skinned knee because his cell was too small.  Poor little darlin'. John Grazinao looks like (WARNING – AWFUL) this now but Nick had only a small window in his private cell, and that made him sad, so it balanced out.  I'm lying of course.  If life were at all fair, he would step foot out of that jail, and then immediately get tackled by a lion or something.  Like shot from a catapult or something.  Because if you shoot a lion from a catapult, I have to assume that when it lands, it will head for the nearest living thing and kill it.