12.09.2008 EVERYONE IS OUT TO GET PAULA

This is news to me but apparently Barbara Walters has a show on Sirius and XM, and this morning on "the View" she talked about an interview she did yesterday with Paula Abdul. They of course talked about Paula Goodspeed, the woman who was stalking Abdul and her apparent suicide outside of Abdul’s home. Abdul says the entire affair was a deliberate attempt by Fox and Simon Cowell to ruin Abduls career.  That's right my friends.  She says Goodspeed was stalking her for 17 years, and AI producers knew she was a disaster waiting to happen when they put her on the show. Then Walters quotes Abdul as saying,

"I put up with so much BS that I had to crawl on my belly, but I rise like a Phoenix.  I don’t have to dignify and stoop so low to that of which Simon says.  If people are going to believe what’s been said about me, believe me, I lost a lot of money, I lost endorsements, and all Simon had to do was retract what he said but he didn’t."

Paula likes to blame Simon for all of her problems in life but considering she's a drunken mess who will fall apart at the drop of a hat, I think Simon shows remarkable restraint.  I think a funny joke would be to get someone dressed up like Goodpseed to walk around outside Abduls house at night.  And then get people to stand behind her in the elevator or whatever and whisper "you're insane" and "you don’t deserve this" and "they're all out to get you".  Then act like you didn’t hear anything when she looks around.  And maybe you could get the Goodspeed look-a-like to crouch at the foot of Abduls bed in the middle of the night and stare at her.  Then hire two people that look like Goodspeed to dress up like cops and they show up at the door when Abdul calls 911.  The trick to that one is to replace them with real normal looking cops after Abdul slams the door.  Then, after doing stuff like this for a few months, you could explain to Abdul it was all a joke, and everyone would have a good laugh I bet.



(73) Comments

  1. Kiwipedro 12/09/2008 15:10

    Hey, I don't care…but I'm first!

  2. Zombie 12/09/2008 15:14

    Fuck you Kiwipedro… fruity wetback

  3. Topper (Harry) Harley 12/09/2008 15:15

    The non-naked stripper, Harpo the Hippo, Skeletor Redeux, and now a Paula Abdul thread? No wonder the comments devolve into puddles of drool over avi snatch?

  4. Death to Finkle! 12/09/2008 15:18

    Not just any snatch, Topper.  Snatch that I miss while actually working.  Thanks for reminding me.

  5. Topper (Harry) Harley 12/09/2008 15:19

    See, this is why I screengrab. So now I can lord it over you DTF.

  6. Zombie 12/09/2008 15:20

    My thoughts exactly Topper. It's bad enough "the writer" can only squirt out 4 posts in an entire day, yet even worse that none of them are even worth keying in the site's url to read.

  7. Tito's Abdomen 12/09/2008 15:20

    This is probably the longest post in a zillion years. And it's about Paula Abdul? What the fuck?! At least give us a nakid chick and write 15 lines about tits and tits and tits.

  8. pepper 12/09/2008 15:21

    Zombie, that was very funny!!  fruity wetback

    LOL , I think I'll use that..thank you.

  9. Ass Tagger 12/09/2008 15:25

    Ha ha ha.

    I'm sorry, but I can't read "Paula Abdul" and "career" in the same sentence without laughing.

  10. Topper (Harry) Harley 12/09/2008 15:28

    but I rise like a Phoenix.

    This bitch needs to go down like a Phoenix. River, to be specific.

  11. someoneluvsu 12/09/2008 15:33

    "but I rise like a Phoenix".

    River Phoenix??

     

  12. someoneluvsu 12/09/2008 15:34

    Damn you Topper!!

  13. Topper (Harry) Harley 12/09/2008 15:34

    Way to be 5 minutes late.

  14. someoneluvsu 12/09/2008 15:35

    I bow to your superior wit, sir. (and your faster internet connection)

  15. Paleomiz 12/09/2008 15:40

    Paula Goodspeed was not a stalker, she was a patriot who offed herself because she couldn't finish the fucking job

  16. pepper 12/09/2008 15:40

    Why does Whoopie Goldberg look like a Jewish Cabbagge Black Doll?

  17. ohmwrecker 12/09/2008 15:44

    Why does Whoopie Goldberg look like a Jewish Cabbagge Black Doll?

    And you say I am the funniest and smartest.

  18. Topper (Harry) Harley 12/09/2008 15:44

    I tried watching the vid, all I heard was "Mine. Mine. Mine-mine-mine. Mine? MINE! Mine-mine. …."

  19. MonyVibescu 12/09/2008 15:45

    She's into masturbation and sublimation, Pepper. Her head is very much like a rotten tooth. It must be removed. Forcefully. Sexually.

  20. pepper 12/09/2008 15:45

    Thank God, Ohm is here to save the day…Tell us what to write, Oh master!

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