GETTING OLD SUCKS

The young people of today may not know who he is, but Peter Falk is an Emmy winning actor, made famous for his starring role in the 70s detective show "Columbo".  But that was then, and now he’s 80 and unfortunately appears to have been cursed with Alzheimer’s and dementia.  Back in April the video above showed up, and now TMZ says his daughter has filed for a conservatorship because Falk is no longer competent to run his own estate.

Catherine Falk filed legal papers in L.A. County Superior Court claiming her father "requires full-time custodial care for his health and safety."In the docs, Catherine claims she is worried her father "can easily be deceived into transferring away property" and believes a conservatorship will protect Peter from "fraud or undue influence."A hearing on the matter is set for next month. Calls to Falk's reps were not returned.

That shit is horrible.  I suppose it’s too much to hope that he’s just screwing with everyone.  How cool would it be if one day someone asked him about getting sick and he said,  “we can't bust heads like we used too, but we have our ways.  One trick is to tell em stories that don’t go anywhere – like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. “Give me five bees for a quarter,” you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah – the important thing was I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have white onions because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones…”  Checkmate Columbo, motherfuckers!