joaquin phoenix is doing great

By brendon January 19, 2009 @ 5:31 AM

The emails I got were way more interesting when I thought they said Joaquin Phoenix Raping, but what it said was Joaquin Phoenix Rapping, as is him turning that shit out on the mic at a club in Vegas Friday night. People seem surprised that Joaquin is now an incoherent drug ravaged mess. Um, it's Joaquin Phoenix. What did you think, he was gonna be CEO of Time Warner now. He’s a drug addict, from a family of drug addicts, of course he’s all fucked up on drugs.   And he's never gonna stop until he reaches that low point, and by that I mean, he notices the steep drop in the pussy he's been getting.

(the thrilling and obvious conclusion to his performance after the jump)

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34 Comments

(34) Comments

  1. Big Smelly Dirt Cock 01/19/2009 06:06

    Just another celebrity douchebag that thinks everything they do is awesome and praiseworthy, get over yourself fucko.

    Oh, and someone should light that awful beard on fire.

  2. RemSteale 01/19/2009 06:09

    White people just shouldnt rap.
    Go back to singing Johhny Cash songs

  3. someoneluvsu 01/19/2009 06:12

    His Rap name is going to be Rastafarian Rasputin

    (or coked-out asshole… it’s a toss up)

  4. Emmalee 01/19/2009 06:13

    I still love him!! Perhaps this “Documentary” is about how the Hip-Hop/Rap Industry blows and anyone can do it. I bet his ragged appearance may play a part, too. Honestly, I think it makes sense.

  5. RemSteale 01/19/2009 06:13

    I thought doing copious amounts of cocaine was supposed to make you lose weight??

  6. lady garden 01/19/2009 06:16

    someone stage an intervention-that thing is just wrong

  7. grubber 01/19/2009 06:53

    I’m not gonna watch this, I liked ‘walk the line’ too much for that..
    why is it that almost none of these people can hold on to their integrity? I know I do a better job..

    btw, good morning to one and all! nice carrot top, LG..

  8. Dirty Hairy 01/19/2009 06:59

    EEEENNNNN-FAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHRRR-MMMMAAAAAAAAARRRR!

    ITALKREALLYFASTNOONECANUNDERSTANDWHATMESAY!

    I lickey boom boom down!

  9. mimic 01/19/2009 07:00

    If I ever met him I’d say “Why couldn’t it have been you that died?”

  10. RemSteale 01/19/2009 07:01

    Methinks I see another Phoenix about to go on a dead pool

  11. grubber 01/19/2009 07:08

    wurd to ya motha..

  12. Paleomiz 01/19/2009 07:10

    I’ll bet that beard smells delightful

  13. sparty 01/19/2009 07:13

    Obama gonna fix this shit

    http://www.hobbes-forums.com/index.php?s=

  14. niclipse 01/19/2009 07:14

    Yikes–he got fat, bearded and grungy. Man, what a train wreck.

  15. grubber 01/19/2009 07:16

    I know I enjoy my food a little longer now that I have a beard. especially those noodles in sauce… it’s nowhere near the wet dog he’s got stuck on his face though.

    maybe he stole mandonna’s muff?

  16. Lil'Yimmy Norton 01/19/2009 07:17

    By low point I was hoping you meant, six feet underground, resting his head on a satin pillow.

  17. RemSteale 01/19/2009 07:20

    As Kylie sang Yimmy, “I should be so lucky”

  18. grubber 01/19/2009 07:22

    damn rem, now I feel like disco-dancing..

  19. Paleomiz 01/19/2009 07:24

    It was inevitable–his parents are commune-style hippies. If River had lived this long he’d also look like a reject from the 60s

  20. readykilowatt 01/19/2009 07:45

    He should stick to raping.

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