gwyneth has cracked the case

For weeks I’ve been telling family and friends about Joaquin Phoenix’s hot new rap career, specifically that there’s no reason to doubt or question it in any way, but now Gwyneth Paltrow is on the case, and her observations are making me look like a fool.  She tells People magazine…

“I think that there might be some other explanation or something going on. I'm not quite sure what, but I can't believe that he's really going to quit [acting] forever to become a rapper.”

It’s obvious she can’t say everything she discovered during her investigation for fear of reprisals, but now that I think about it, he wasn’t a very good rapper.  Joaquin played me like a fiddle, no doubt about it.

(no idea who that is but she came up during a search for Joaquin pictures.  WENN says, “Glamour girl, actress and former girlfriend of Joaquin Cortes, Marisa Jara, posing in sexy swimwear.”)