Madonna is back in Africa today to trick the government of Malawi into letting her adopt a little girl, and so far it’s going great, with Madonnas effortless charm enchanting everyone she comes in contact with.
Yesterday the singer was branded a ‘child kidnapper’ by the executive director of Malawi’s Human Rights Consultative Committee.
‘We feel Madonna is behaving like a bully,’ added the national co-ordinator, after the court hearing. ‘She has money, she has status, she is using her profile to manipulate the procedures.’
But then Madonna showed up at the hearing wearing this simple black dress and conservative hat, and that dude said, “oh my bad. I see now that you’re very conservative. This totally negates the last 25 years of whoring. At first I was skeptical, but then you put on white stockings, thus transforming you in a pious woman of simple pleasures forever.” And then he banged a gavel and yelled, “case dismissed!”