melissa theuriau is not from here

French newscaster Mélissa Theuriau was in Miami with her monkeyman husband and his creepy arm this weekend.  She looks terrific considering she had a kid just three months ago.  I can’t even begin to guess how that dude is doing this.  I assume it has something to do with sorcery.  It seems obvious that his mind can shape the physical world and bend the wills of men.  How do you stop someone like this?  Guns don’t work.  The bullet would stop a foot in front of him and then turn around and hit the person with the gun.  Oh God damn we are so screwed.

(image source = mavrix online)