05.04.2009 the Sad Cartoon Turtle found love

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I hope it doesn’t sound like I’m bragging but “The Sad Turtle Finds Love” would be a pretty good title for a children’s book. Something about never giving up, and how you never know what this day may hold. 20 minutes before you met the true love of your life, you had no idea that you were about to meet the true love of your life. That day could be today. Jesus Christ I’m gonna be rich.

Point being, Maggie got married this weekend to actor Peter Sarsgaard, who I always think is the professor from “Good Will Hunting” but it’s not. I don’t know who he is. You might try the library, they might know.

One time someone asked me if I was forced would I fuck Maggie or Jake. And I said, “… uh … J …. Maggie.” And then they said well what about just deep kissing. And I said, “aww God dammit”.

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106 Comments

(106) Comments

  1. Zombie 05/04/2009 08:55

    Ugly and Uglier.

  2. Zombie 05/04/2009 08:56

    Oh and…

    fist fist fist

  3. Zombie 05/04/2009 08:57

    That guy on the left looks like he just caught wind of Maggie’s taco fart.

  4. RedRage 05/04/2009 08:57

    Z, did you watch the Canes game? They looked like a different team.

  5. Big Smelly Dirt Cock 05/04/2009 08:59

    She was kind of cute in that flick where James Spader jizzed on her. Ugly now but I would still bang her.

  6. DB's Treasure 05/04/2009 08:59

    whoa whoa whoa, Duk…it is I, DB. I guarantee you that, sir.

  7. Long_Duk_Dong 05/04/2009 09:01

    10-4

  8. Zombie 05/04/2009 09:01

    Yes I watched it RedRage. I’m glad they shut Boston’s ass out despite the cheating done by officials.

  9. GeneralDouchery 05/04/2009 09:01

    I am fairly certain I would take a kick to the groin before having relations with her post-Secretary.

  10. Willie Beamin 05/04/2009 09:04

    sad cartoon turtle…

  11. Long_Duk_Dong 05/04/2009 09:06

    who am i kidding…..i’d do her

  12. snatch 05/04/2009 09:06

    I don’t mind when she’s naked in a movie

  13. Death to Finkle! 05/04/2009 09:08

    They should have made him the sniper and Gylle… Gyllen… Gyllenotgonnaworkhereanymore the spotter.

  14. Willie Beamin 05/04/2009 09:09

    He kinda looks like Stephen Dorff…

  15. DB's Treasure 05/04/2009 09:18

    Finks, LMFAO!

  16. _monkey 05/04/2009 09:21

    That guy must vehemently hate his penis.

  17. GeneralDouchery 05/04/2009 09:24

    _monkey - I laughed pretty hard at that.

  18. Death to Finkle! 05/04/2009 09:24

    ‘Ppreciate it, DB. I really don’t give 2 shits about who played whom in the movie. They were both pretty good, I just thought Peter Kierkegaard was better.

    I really just wanted to tie in the Office Space reference, like you did so well a couple of weeks ago with somebody.

  19. Guinny_Ire 05/04/2009 09:34

    I always thought he was gay so this makes perfect sense since Maggie looks like everybody’s gay uncle.

  20. _monkey 05/04/2009 09:34

    Thanks, General!

    BTW, the other dude is Stellan Skarsgård - see how I pasted that right from IMDB…impressive, eh? Just to clarify, by “the other dude” I am referring to the actor his name gets mistaken for, not the sad turtle beside him.

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