I don’t know who’s in charge of handing out gold medals for opening paragraphs but I dare you to do better than the New York Post…
A secret sect of kung fu assassins could have silenced actor David Carradine as he delved into their shadowy activities, according to his family’s lawyer.
Aha! I knew it!
…attorney Mark Geragos suggested that Carradine may have been killed as he tried to uncover groups working in the martial-arts underworld.
The lawyer said the actor’s family refuses to believe he died in a sadomasochistic sex stunt gone wrong — despite his being found naked with a rope tied around his neck, wrists and genitals.
The bizarre claim was made on “Larry King Live” on CNN Friday after a panel member said, “David was very interested in investigating and disclosing secret societies.”
“What that means is connected to martial arts and his interest in martial arts,” he continued. “And so there is a suspicion that if there was some foul play, that that may be the first area where they should look.”
I hope this works because it will be awesome to blame some secret society every time I get caught being a pervert. “The Free Masons planted those panties, and a coven of witches hexed my computer to download ‘Oops I Swallowed Again’ “.
“attorney Mark Geragos suggested that Carradine may have been killed as he tried to uncover groups working in the martial-arts underworld.”
What killed David Carradine? The damned inner monologue a la Chuck Norris’ “The Octagon”…I know it did a number on my concentration…
and the prediction list has one more correct…
I fah-r-ted
youknow people might stop talking about it if the family would shut the fuck up
and re the banner pic…I think DB would like to sink his katana deep into that ninja’s saya…
Yeeaah, the martial-arts underworld is all aquiver with fear that some old geezer actor dude is nosing into their business so they had to kill him in a humiliating fashion so as to not draw attention to their shady dealings….Perfectly sound and logical.
“you know people might stop talking about it if the family would shut the fuck up”
I dunno, snatch, when you are found with ropes around your neck and genitals, the blue balls jokes alone will go on for a few weeks at least…
I always blame NAMBLA for my peccadillos when I get caught……
They hate me (now)
i wear high heels when i slip into my ninja outfit too! co-wink-a-dink?! i think not!
He was working undercover to foil a kidnapping ring that was taking the best martial arts fighters from our world and transporting them to another planet where they engaged in the ultimate competition - MORTAL KOMBAT!!!!
It’s funnier with the soundtrack playing in the background.
I now know why Scott Peterson was found guilty…Geragos tried pinning those murders on yet another secret society…Mormons…or the Knights of Columbus, I forget which…
David Carradine should be a hero….
He died doing what he loved best….
…providing employment to small-boned tranny whores…….
…..I’m sure he’ll be saluted in their next union newsletter….
I love it when the ladies arch that back and stick their ass in the air. Primo position to let me chow out all the plumbing.
“i wear high heels when i slip into my ninja outfit too! co-wink-a-dink?! i think not!”
Pics or it never happened, diane…
This post was reasonably humorous……
Wouldn’t it be a little silly for an underground society that has managed to remain hidden for hundreds of years to kill someone in such a hilarious and open way?
You’d think they would have the skill at subterfuge to like…HIDE the body.
Black people are always screwing this stuff up… White dude trying to get some…. wait Ninja’s…
Nevermind.
I like how NPD says “Free Masons,” like they were discount brick layers.
Its “Freemasons” One word, just like Douchebag!!!!
Have they found any Wookie hair in Carradine’s room?
TITS is on to something…..
I bet the Wookie Mafia killed him and left him in one of the most embarrassing ways possible as a warning to others.