Perez is having a good week

By brendon June 25, 2009 @ 1:31 PM

dhn JACKSON 1280

I only occasionally get stories directly from trusted sources, I get most of them from online news reports, so I haven’t developed Perez Hiltons keen eye for the inner workings of Hollywood.  It sounds silly now, but many thought when reports came flooding in that Michael Jackson had a heart attack, it meant he had a heart attack.  But Perez knows how to read between the lines.  This was his first post when the story broke:

“We knew something like this would happen!!
Michael Jackson was taken by ambulance from his Holmby Hills home to a nearby Los Angeles hospital on Thursday afternoon!!
Supposedly, the singer went into cardiac arrest and the paramedics had to administer CPR!!!
His mother is even on the way to visit him!!!
We are dubious!!
Jacko pulled a similar stunt when he was getting ready for his big HBO special in ’95 when he “collapsed” at rehearsal!
He was dragging his heels on that just like his upcoming 50 date London residency at the 02 Arena, of which he already postponed the first few dates!!!
Either he’s lying or making himself sick, but we’re curious to see if he’s able to go on!!!
Get your money back, ticket holders!!!!”

(screencap here)

(34) Comments

  1. avatar
    God Hath Spoken 06/25/2009 15:58

    First Farrah Fawcett now Michael Jackson.
    One young boys fapped to and one fapped boys.

  2. avatar
    ashleycandice 06/25/2009 16:09

    Perez Hilton is a disgusting human. He IS the fat girl turned “popular” in school. The one who took 2 years to realize he hates himself. But not before shitting on everyone is process. He’ll get what’s coming to him.

  3. avatar
    Steve Optimo 06/25/2009 16:10

    Fuck Perez right in his dick hole!

  4. avatar
    Simon Birch 06/25/2009 16:23

    I hate that fat turd…..i love when he fails…i hope MJ haunts that fruit forever

  5. avatar
    ukickedmydog 06/25/2009 16:24

    Wow good call on that one Perez. Too bad your objective journalism is actually just childish speculation. An equally oblivious coworker of mine was saying something similar – that it was another publicity stunt..Idiots..

  6. avatar
    Stifuppernipple 06/25/2009 16:31

    To think they pay this guy to be a cockhead … mind bogles!

  7. avatar
    Bo Jangles 06/25/2009 16:43

    What a dirty dick shit. I will be honest, I don’t condone hitting chicks but if I see that fat bastage walking around I might have to break that rule.

  8. avatar
    thewildokinawan 06/25/2009 16:46

    I hope that I get to be there the moment that bitch really gets what he deserves.

  9. avatar
    HeteroIndigoGirlsFan 06/25/2009 16:54

    Glad to see the beatdown taught him to think before he speaks.

  10. avatar
    HitleryKlingon 06/25/2009 16:58

    It won’t be long before Jermaine punches that asshole in the face again.

    Then again, Perez gets fucked in the ass FOR FUN. What are you gonna do to hurt the guy?

  11. avatar
    Tripod 06/25/2009 17:03

    What did the young mother say to Michael Jackson on the beach?

    Excuse me, you are in my Sun.

  12. avatar
    Stifuppernipple 06/25/2009 17:10

    There just anin’t nothing good to say about this arsehole … hope he catches herpes on the face!

  13. avatar
    Biggie 06/25/2009 17:13

    I hope Randy and Tito shank his ass.

  14. avatar
    JC 06/25/2009 17:39

    I see that piece of shit Perez edited the post to make it look like “omg, he went to cardiac arrest” instead of the insult he originally posted. I wish more people would punch him in the face like Will.I.Am’s manager did. How the hell did he even get popular anyways? Douche

  15. avatar
    ukickedmydog 06/25/2009 17:47

    JC did you expect anything less from that coward? I can’t bring myself to watching that shit..his voice hurts my brain

  16. avatar
    Rockn'Roller 06/25/2009 17:54

    I’m surprised that people actually like that fat fuck. The M.J. post/last minute “oh shit” edit thing is such a good indication of what kind of dude he is.

    I checked out some of the comments on his latest “apology” for the Toronto non-event, and sure enough, all the little gossip hungry fag-hags are lapping it up and even praising him for his character!

    Are they reading the same squirmy, self-aggrandizing schluff that I did?

  17. avatar
    Igofullretard 06/25/2009 17:56

    So whats next, Perez is going to admit he’s really in to women?

  18. avatar
    Igofullretard 06/25/2009 17:58

    Oh, at least he was right about one thing, ticket holder better get thier money back..

  19. avatar
    TheGooch 06/25/2009 18:04

    seriously I’m going to murder this pasty faggot. In fact I am dedicating my life to the vicious killing and assfucking of all these no reason to be a celebrity idiots. #1 Perez, #2 Spencer/Heidi #3 Jon, Kate and all 8 #4 Tila Tequila. I’ll have a douche-shaped spotlight that you can point at a cloud to find me. I’ll be like Batman, with more sodomy. Hmm or is it less. Well let’s say I will be assraping other people than Robin.

  20. avatar
    Tony 06/25/2009 18:05

    Could this queer be any more of an asshat?

You must be to post a comment.