Holy Crap

By brendon August 19, 2009 @ 3:36 PM

bowl g 090606

This story is so fucked up it’s almost hard to comprehend. Thankfully TMZ writes at a level where you expect the story to have pop-up dinosaurs in it or furry swatches over drawings of a dog. The cliff notes are this:

- The body of a one-time Playboy model named Jasmine Fiore (above, right) was found in a trash bin, stuffed inside a suitcase, in Buena Park last Saturday morning.
- The suspect is a man named Ryan Jenkins, who was a finalist on the VH1 dating show, “Megan Wants a Millionaire.”
- The shows finale has not aired, but Jenkins was reportedly cut near the end. After he was cut, he went to Vegas, met Jasmine in a strip club, and married her two days later.
- Surprisingly, Jasmines roommate says their relationship was “on the rocks”. She also said that Jenkins told her he was “done with the relationship” and that “he couldn’t take it anymore”. This was one day after Jasmine was found in a dumpster.
- Jenkins is still on the run, and may be fleeing to Canada.

WENN had these pictures of Jasmine.  She’s not very attractive, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to kill her. Legally, I mean.

(28) Comments

  1. avatar
    RedRage 08/19/2009 15:43

    Yes sir! Thank you NPD! Suck me sideways!

  2. avatar
    RedRage 08/19/2009 15:44

    Dead whores are hilarious!

  3. avatar
    Thunder Dog 08/19/2009 15:46

    Hope the dumpster was in the sunlight – we wouldn’t want the case to get cold

  4. avatar
    BALLSY 08/19/2009 15:53

    whats so odd about this story? I do this every week!

  5. avatar
    Observer 08/19/2009 15:54

    Odd that he would kill her…..

    ..there is no likely way he had MORE money than she did……

    …hopefully they made a sex tape I can link to….

  6. avatar
    Big Smelly Dirt Cock 08/19/2009 15:55

    I find it hard to believe that a former reality show contestant and Playboy model who met in a strip club in Vegas and then got married two days later had any marital problems that could lead to something like this.

  7. avatar
    Observer 08/19/2009 15:56

    If “Buena Park” is in California….it may well be legal to kill a not so hot chick who puts herself out as “sexy”….

    …isn’t that why Britney moved back to Louisiana?

  8. avatar
    Woodsman 08/19/2009 16:07

    Obs: here in California he’s as likely to be charged with the murder as he is with improperly disposing of her silicone boobs

  9. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 08/19/2009 16:09

    Ah ha…the old bitch in a suitcase trick…..

    some of that old school shiiieeet.

  10. avatar
    Rokan 08/19/2009 16:12


    Some times a bitch just won’t shut up, you know?

  11. avatar
    dirtydiane 08/19/2009 16:12

    she has a cartoon rabbit face. maybe the dude had bad nightmares of bugs in drag…?

  12. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 08/19/2009 16:14

    hell, it’s not like they’re uncomfortable in a suitcase. i’ve folded bitches up like metal church chairs. ankles to collarbone.

    I doubt he had to do any cutting. That’s why fat bitches don’t disappear or get killed. Too goddamned hard to pull off.

    I’m gonna find me a pudgy rich bitch and turn that ho into a housewife.

  13. avatar
    SinDs 08/19/2009 16:16

    i wanna see what the dude looks like

  14. avatar
    leftnutofjesus 08/19/2009 16:16


    she probably couldn’t breathe through the dollar general bag. I always give them the most fitting “head accessory” before sex. Some get a headband, some get an old gallon weed bag. Some get Macy’s.

    Classy as fuck.

  15. avatar
  16. avatar
    Watt 08/19/2009 16:18

    Now THIS is a fucking story!

  17. avatar
    SCUM 08/19/2009 16:19

    So the cumdumpster was found in a dumpster. In other words someone took out the trash then he took out the trash.

  18. avatar
    Watt 08/19/2009 16:28

    Well now we know where Deebs has been

  19. avatar
    Kirby 08/19/2009 16:29

    I think we can all agree that the real crime here is those fake tits.

  20. avatar
    Observer 08/19/2009 16:32

    On another point…..

    …..does someone have to remind TMZ.com that “what happens in Vegas….stays in Vegas”?

You must be to post a comment.