“was left drenched in blood…”

By brendon September 22, 2009 @ 5:20 PM

Christina Aguilera

Christina Aguilera and her mom, Shelly Kearns, are the focus of a new documentary on E!, and they talk candidly about why Kearns left Christinas father. It seems pretty reasonable. The Sun UK says…

A FOUR-year-old CHRISTINA AGUILERA was left drenched in blood after her father violently attacked her – for innocently disturbing his “nap”.
Shelly recalled: “I scooped her up and said, ‘Oh my God. What’s wrong?’
“She told me, ‘Daddy wanted to take a nap and I made too much noise.’”
The alleged horror incident was the final straw for Shelly, who packed up and fled the family home with Christina and her other daughter RACHEL.

Well, even though she did make too much noise, you shouldn’t beat kids until they’re soaked in blood. There’s better ways to deal with a kid who interrupts your nap. Cookies filled with poison, for example.

wwtdd

(60) Comments

  1. avatar
    pepper 09/22/2009 17:22

    did he pop her cherry?

  2. avatar
    pepper 09/22/2009 17:24

    1

  3. avatar
    pepper 09/22/2009 17:24

    7

  4. avatar
    pepper 09/22/2009 17:24

    9

  5. avatar
    pepper 09/22/2009 17:25

    6

  6. avatar
    SsnakeOil 09/22/2009 17:25

    Easy, there Pepper, you’re gonna hurt yourself.

  7. avatar
    pepper 09/22/2009 17:25

    bored

  8. avatar
    pepper 09/22/2009 17:25

    I’m closing early and going home

  9. avatar
    SsnakeOil 09/22/2009 17:28

    She STILL makes too much noise! Where’s her father when she’s singing?

  10. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 09/22/2009 17:29

    Is the headline talking about DB’s asshole?

  11. avatar
    pepper 09/22/2009 17:30

    Sal, next time you mind your business.

  12. avatar
    SsnakeOil 09/22/2009 17:30

    That’s probably the beating that stunted her growth.

  13. avatar
    DarkCherry 09/22/2009 17:30

    i know it’s an old pic but still the pink lipstick gets me everytime. horrible!!

  14. avatar
    Rokan 09/22/2009 17:31

    At first I thought this was a story about DB’s anus.

    Sell alot of lemonade today, Pepper?

  15. avatar
    SsnakeOil 09/22/2009 17:31

    Pepper, I want to go to Wyoming.

  16. avatar
    SsnakeOil 09/22/2009 17:33

    Cali, there was a rumor going around before that the underboob shot you posted last week wasn’t you. Care to respond?

  17. avatar
    DB's Treasure 09/22/2009 17:33

    Anyone play Farmville on Facebook?

  18. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 09/22/2009 17:34

    Cinema, simulated life, ill drama
    Fourth reich culture, Americana
    Chained to the dream they got ya searchin for
    The thin line between entertainment and war

  19. avatar
    DarkCherry 09/22/2009 17:34

    dr phil is really just Oprah approved jerry springer.

  20. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 09/22/2009 17:34

    The last time I got on Facebook I nearly fell off my dinosaur.

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