hahaha, you lose fatty

Last week it came out that master criminal Jon Gosselin stole $230,000. His plan was brilliant in it’s simplicity. He went to the bank and took all the money he was supposed to share with his wife. Somehow, it’s still not clear how, he got caught and today he was ordered to return at least 180,000 of it. TMZ says…

According to Kate’s lawyer, Mark Momjian, “The remaining sum of $55,000, which Ms. Gosselin used for household bills and expenses relating to the children, will be subject to further determination by the arbitrator at a later date.”
Jon is required to repay the loot by October 26 — the next hearing — or appear before the judge for a contempt proceeding.
Kate says, “As difficult as this has been for me, I am pleased that the Court has ruled fairly on behalf of myself and my children. Now that this matter has been ruled on, I look forward to returning to private arbitration, as we have agreed to do, to resolve any remaining issues.”

Seriously. How did we get here? How did we get to a point where two people who are completely unlikable and who don’t actually do anything can parlay that into millions? Is this some evil alternate reality, where rock music is outlawed and Hitler is on the dollar bill.