dakota fanning is a queen

By brendon November 02, 2009 @ 3:13 PM


Dakota Fanning really is a cheerleader at Campbell Hall Episcopal High School in North Hollywood, and this weekend she was named a member of the Homecoming Court and then Homecoming Queen during a football game.

If this whole thing seems adorably yet suspiciously normal, that’s because Dakota is the same age as Ali Lohan. Dakota goes to school and looks and acts 15 because she’s 15. Ali looks 44 because she doesn’t go to school and spends her nights in bars with her idol, Lindsay. Then she stumbles home at 6am and says “is this my apartment” before passing out on a couch. Some time later she’ll wake up and vaguely remember a dream about getting trained and wonder why her vagina now makes a whistling sound when she walks around and air passes over it.

(source = pacific coast news)

(54) Comments

  1. avatar
    SuperB 11/02/2009 15:15

    PEDO nigz figz pigz

  2. avatar
    DB's Treasure 11/02/2009 15:17

    I’m still not sold on this little turd.

  3. avatar
    Slaappy 11/02/2009 15:17

    it’s raining clams

  4. avatar
    CodPiece 11/02/2009 15:19

    She needs to be aggressive … B E Aggressive.

  5. avatar
    DB's Treasure 11/02/2009 15:19


  6. avatar
    Zombie 11/02/2009 15:20

    I’ll bet Dakota Fanning can ride the hell out of a dick. Just look at her form in Pic #1.

  7. avatar
    DB's Treasure 11/02/2009 15:20

    I hate you, Cod.

  8. avatar
    entropissed 11/02/2009 15:21

    I wonder if the company that insures her knows she is doing these dangerous stunts.


    More importantly, Boondock Saints 2 hasn’t been released here yet. Fuck

  9. avatar
    SCUM 11/02/2009 15:21

    Flying beaver.

  10. avatar
    SuperB 11/02/2009 15:24

    Entro, they had a midnight showing here on Halloween, had a friend who said it was decent.

    I loved the first, I hope they didnt screw the second all up

  11. avatar
    Kumquat 11/02/2009 15:24

    She’s a pasty little thing. Anyone see ‘Hounddog”? It’s the movie with the rape scene? Horrific! Truly.

  12. avatar
    DB's Treasure 11/02/2009 15:33

    Workin hard all week puts the beer on the table.

  13. avatar
    Rokan 11/02/2009 15:33

    Flying squirrel.

  14. avatar
    Beppo 11/02/2009 15:37

    She is an Aryan beauty and is ready for womanhood.

    I can picture her cooking me schnitzel and cleaning up Mylene’s voluminous quantities of hairs from the bathroom floor. A kleine putz-frau bending over and letting her tiny, pink nozzle peak out from underneath her clean white apron.

    Do not be jealous Mylene, my angel!! There is room for both of you upon my mustache!!!!

  15. avatar
    J-Sausage 11/02/2009 15:39

    You are all vile pedophiles. Let’s play Tiddlywinks

  16. avatar
    DB's Treasure 11/02/2009 15:43

    This place is terrible today.

  17. avatar
    SuperB 11/02/2009 15:46

    I think fake Beppo has to be Mony’s long lost brother

  18. avatar
    DB's Treasure 11/02/2009 15:46

    I got quite the beer shit brewing.

  19. avatar
    SCUM 11/02/2009 15:46

    Where’s my shirt?

  20. avatar
    SCUM 11/02/2009 15:46

    Wheres my shirt?

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