tuesday morning headlines

By brendon March 02, 2010 @ 12:54 PM


LINDSAY LOHAN - is 23, and Roberto Cavalli is 69. Good luck trying to figure out which one to feel sorry for. (wenn)

JAY LENO - is planning a week of shows in New York City, to beat Letterman “on his home turf”. Leno will be great there. I bet he’ll have some real zingers about how the Knicks aren’t very good at basketball. This guy doesn’t care whose toes he steps on. (pop eater)

DARYL HANNAH - is naked in her new movie, and the Sun has a few pictures. She might have the best naked body of any 50 year old I’ve ever seen, and I base that on comparisons to absolutely nothing. Or did you think this was some kind of geriatric lust website. (the sun)

SIMON MONJACK - is SOL because Brittany Murphy left him out of her will. I went one year into the future to question him about this, but he was too busy asking a cat if it was gonna finish that Meow Mix. (us.com)

JENNIFER LOVE HEWITT - somehow pulled a super tight dress over her fat hips last night. If you don’t feel like clicking the link, just imagine what it looks like right after a python swallows a pig. (daily mail)

(67) Comments

  1. avatar
    RemSteale 03/02/2010 12:56

    Jeez Lindsay, just start the porn career already

  2. avatar
    RemSteale 03/02/2010 13:00

    Daryl Hannah had a great ass in Splash, was that really 26 years ago?
    I feel old

  3. avatar
    pepper 03/02/2010 13:01

    I like size 2..she gives me a 7

  4. avatar
    Watt 03/02/2010 13:02

    Python swallowed a pig haha.

  5. avatar
    pepper 03/02/2010 13:05

    Roy Orbison naked in a bathtub with Daryl Hannah?

  6. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 03/02/2010 13:06

    How could you tell where her ass stopped and her dorsal fin began?

  7. avatar
    RemSteale 03/02/2010 13:08

    You never saw Splash then DTF?

  8. avatar
    ohmwrecker 03/02/2010 13:08

    I hope the NYPD ass rapes Jay Leno with a broomstick.

  9. avatar
    Death to Finkle! 03/02/2010 13:09

    Just bits and pieces, Rem.

    Ariel is the only mermaid for me. I’d so put it in her blowhole…

  10. avatar
    RemSteale 03/02/2010 13:10

    Isnt that a scene from Last Exit to Brooklyn, Ohm??

  11. avatar
    RemSteale 03/02/2010 13:11

    I was always more partial to Belle from Beauty & the Beast myself….

  12. avatar
    Dirty Dirt Mcgirk 03/02/2010 13:13

    lohan, Leno, and monjack in the same post? Bro, you need better material. there HAS to be some pseudo famous bare tit out there…step it up slakker.

  13. avatar
    ohmwrecker 03/02/2010 13:15

    Disney chicks are frigid bitches. Give me a threesome with the Scooby Doo girls. If the Mystery Machine is a-rockin’, don’t bother knockin’!

  14. avatar
    Olaf Metal 03/02/2010 13:15

    JLH looks hot in that dress… are you fuckin’ high ?

  15. avatar
    Tom Foolery 03/02/2010 13:16

    I followed the link for Hewitt and she looks good man, whatever. She rocked in Splash and I dug her even as a little tyke, girls mature faster than guys is still up for question.

  16. avatar
    Zombie 03/02/2010 13:17

    Dirt, try getting a girlfriend. I hear they bare tits.

  17. avatar
    RemSteale 03/02/2010 13:18

    You always got the impression that Velma was getting some Daphne action that Fred wasnt….

  18. avatar
    ohmwrecker 03/02/2010 13:18

    Tom, are you confused, or am I?

  19. avatar
    ohmwrecker 03/02/2010 13:21

    Rem, you know that Velma was hiding a slamming bod under that turtleneck sweater.

  20. avatar
    whatizdat 03/02/2010 13:21

    Do not understand the prejudice against JLH, she is definitely fuckable!

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