oh stfu esquire

By brendon April 20, 2010 @ 5:34 PM


Esquire magazine has come out with their ‘Women We Love’ issue, with fatty Christina Hendricks on the cover as the ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’, and at one point they have a 75 Greatest Women Of All Time list. For Karen Allen (yes, Karen Allen), they write

Animal House! Raiders of the Lost Ark! Our nine- and twenty-two-year-old selves just fell in love all over again.

‘Raiders’ came out in 1981. So the person writing this is 51 years old. It’s no wonder this magazine is so cool and hip. This list, composed mostly of the writer naming strange women he’d like to fuck, couldn’t be any creeepier unless it was called 75 Women Whose Hair I’d Like to Stroke Before I Eat Them Because They’re All Godless Whores.

(233) Comments

  1. avatar
    ItsMeEmilyG 04/20/2010 17:36

    That doesn’t even look like Christina Hendricks!

  2. avatar
    Chicago_animal 04/20/2010 17:38

    Christina: Pay this site and tomorrow you will have a post saying your the hottest woman in the world.

  3. avatar
    SCUM 04/20/2010 17:40

    <<<< This story was all over the web YESTERDAY idiot.

  4. avatar
    enigmahfc 04/20/2010 17:40

    “with fatty Christina Hendricks”

    You are so fucking gay that gay people think you’re gay.

  5. avatar
    Chicago_animal 04/20/2010 17:41

    “Fatty Christina Hendricks” !? Wow! Can you sound any more like a woman??

  6. avatar
    Iblewbubbles 04/20/2010 17:42

    Take the picture after the nip-slip, ya big douche

  7. avatar
    SuperB 04/20/2010 17:44

    holy Airbursh batman

  8. avatar
    SomeoneluvsU 04/20/2010 17:44

    Is Kirstie Alley number 2?

  9. avatar
    Watt 04/20/2010 17:46

    Wasn’t he slobbering over how much he likes red heads with big tits at some point?

  10. avatar
    Mike Hunt 04/20/2010 17:47

    Senorita Super B,

    You make a woman like that look like an old burro pulling a cart.
    I would like to give you a mushroom stamp with my thot amale.

  11. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 17:48

    Who voted..Don Notts and Paul Lynde?

  12. avatar
    Chicago_animal 04/20/2010 17:49

    If she was in Csptain America she would be so damn hot!

  13. avatar
    Tuco The Ugly 04/20/2010 17:50

    I go away for a few minutes and now everyone has senor and senorita.
    Dios mio!!!!

  14. avatar
    Chicago_animal 04/20/2010 17:51

    Are you sure his comments used to be funny? I’ve been comming here for about a year now and rarely see anything funny….unless you read these comments cause it’s usually ON down here.

  15. avatar
    ladiesman4242 04/20/2010 17:53

    Are gay or just stupid? That is a hot sexy woman with dangerous curves. You must prefer your women to be flat and look like starved boys!

    Dude, if she’s fat, gimme more women like here

  16. avatar
    SuperB 04/20/2010 17:54

    oh what a sweet donkey

  17. avatar
    Mike Hunt 04/20/2010 17:54

    Senor Tuco,
    Who is the ass now, mi amigo?


  18. avatar
    Tuco The Ugly 04/20/2010 17:55

    Mike Hunt, you fucking ass get your own shit!

  19. avatar
    chubby chaser 04/20/2010 17:56

    Chicago_animal I’m waiting to LOL.

  20. avatar
    Iblewbubbles 04/20/2010 17:56

    Animal House! Raiders of the Lost Ark! Our nine- and twenty-two-year-old selves just fell in love all over again.

    What does that even mean?

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