oh stfu esquire

By brendon April 20, 2010 @ 5:34 PM


Esquire magazine has come out with their ‘Women We Love’ issue, with fatty Christina Hendricks on the cover as the ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’, and at one point they have a 75 Greatest Women Of All Time list. For Karen Allen (yes, Karen Allen), they write

Animal House! Raiders of the Lost Ark! Our nine- and twenty-two-year-old selves just fell in love all over again.

‘Raiders’ came out in 1981. So the person writing this is 51 years old. It’s no wonder this magazine is so cool and hip. This list, composed mostly of the writer naming strange women he’d like to fuck, couldn’t be any creeepier unless it was called 75 Women Whose Hair I’d Like to Stroke Before I Eat Them Because They’re All Godless Whores.

(233) Comments

  1. avatar
    duckbutter 04/20/2010 21:48

    I’m actually quite handsome I’ll have you know….not quite as much as your little buddy with the dodgy mustache but I do what I can.

  2. avatar
    Steffabulous 04/20/2010 21:52

    Mustaches are useful when in the throes of cunnilingus.

  3. avatar
    duckbutter 04/20/2010 21:54

    how bout a goat?

  4. avatar
    Rokan 04/20/2010 21:54

    It gives you something to sop up the clam-juice, huh Steff?

  5. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 21:55

    Steff, I don’t show mu junk to dudes. Sorry!
    Rokan, have you been smoking again….I don’t understand a fucking word Mony writes…..fucking Mexicans need to stay in Germany and not come to the US….don’t they have potatoes over there they can pick?

  6. avatar
    duckbutter 04/20/2010 21:55


  7. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:00

    Where is Watt..I want him to tell me again…”Pepper, strawberries not potatoes”

  8. avatar
    The Irreverent Tony Stark 04/20/2010 22:00

    Looks like the night crew is in full mutherfucking effizz-ect.

  9. avatar
    duckbutter 04/20/2010 22:02

    back to mexicans?

  10. avatar
    Steffabulous 04/20/2010 22:02

    Not so much sop. It has a delightful ticklish effect.

  11. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:03

    I see a Duck…nope wait…I see a Bunny…..shit…Bunny…Duck…….Bunny……MAKE IT STOP!!!!!!!!!

  12. avatar
    Steffabulous 04/20/2010 22:04

    And for the 80th time. I’m not a gentleman. I have a fuzz free genitalia pocket. No dangling.

  13. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:05

    Steff, you don’t have to shout, I heard you the first time……

  14. avatar
    duckbutter 04/20/2010 22:06

    genitalia pocket? is that like a hot pocket

  15. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:07

    duckbutter, where are you from?
    I want to know why Rokan left?

  16. avatar
    duckbutter 04/20/2010 22:09


  17. avatar
    The Irreverent Tony Stark 04/20/2010 22:09

    It’s April 20th, that’s why I assume Rokan left.

  18. avatar
    duckbutter 04/20/2010 22:09

    tulsa to be exact

  19. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:10

    GOD, I feel sorry for you..that is one Ugly fucking state!!!
    Flat , Hot, tornadoes, Hail and nothing to do but run down to the shelter.

  20. avatar
    The Irreverent Tony Stark 04/20/2010 22:11

    Part of the Oklahoma border touches Colorado inappropriately and I want it to stop.

You must be to post a comment.