oh stfu esquire

By brendon April 20, 2010 @ 5:34 PM


Esquire magazine has come out with their ‘Women We Love’ issue, with fatty Christina Hendricks on the cover as the ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’, and at one point they have a 75 Greatest Women Of All Time list. For Karen Allen (yes, Karen Allen), they write

Animal House! Raiders of the Lost Ark! Our nine- and twenty-two-year-old selves just fell in love all over again.

‘Raiders’ came out in 1981. So the person writing this is 51 years old. It’s no wonder this magazine is so cool and hip. This list, composed mostly of the writer naming strange women he’d like to fuck, couldn’t be any creeepier unless it was called 75 Women Whose Hair I’d Like to Stroke Before I Eat Them Because They’re All Godless Whores.

(233) Comments

  1. avatar
    duckbutter 04/20/2010 22:27

    sounds about right….pretty close to mexico for there to be a shortage of drugs. I don’t particapate but all the kids are fucked. what is foie gras?

  2. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:27

    HEE HAWW!!!

  3. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:27

    Rokan,,,was it Steff?

  4. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:28

    Duck google the fucking thing!

  5. avatar
    Rokan 04/20/2010 22:29


    Have you ever touched a horse’s balls?

  6. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:29

    Yeah..Ooooooklahoma has tornadoes and we have terrorist…..wait….never mind….

  7. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:30

    Have you ever smelled moth balls?

  8. avatar
    The Irreverent Tony Stark 04/20/2010 22:31

    Foie gras is basically duck liver.

    Not what I consider high cuisine… the French consider snails a delicacy… what the hell?!

  9. avatar
    Steffabulous 04/20/2010 22:31

    Fioie Gras= fatty liver. They fatten up geese until their liver gets disgusting anf pulpmp and greasy and you eat it. Its like caviar in grossness and expense

  10. avatar
    duckbutter 04/20/2010 22:31

    fuck you I pronounced it wrong. google duckbutter not duck splatter.

  11. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:32


  12. avatar
    duckbutter 04/20/2010 22:33

    oy pepper they walk among us buddy. more importantly have you ever ate horse balls?

  13. avatar
    The Irreverent Tony Stark 04/20/2010 22:33

    Now, I consider a nice sirloin to be high cuisine.

  14. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:33

    Duck..there are 71 definitions…do I have to read all of them?

  15. avatar
    Rokan 04/20/2010 22:34


    Don’t HeeHaaw.

    I hate that fucking donkey, but he got pretty funny when he started mocking Tuco and speaking Spanish.

    Do you see how much trouble he causes? He has everyone thinking they are faking him.

  16. avatar
    Steffabulous 04/20/2010 22:34

    People like chipped moose around here.

  17. avatar
    The Irreverent Tony Stark 04/20/2010 22:34

    A nice sirloin, medium… and a baked potato with lots of button, bacon and cheese…

    Mmmm, good eating.

  18. avatar
    pepper 04/20/2010 22:34

    I had no idea jews lived in Ooooklahoma?

  19. avatar
    The Irreverent Tony Stark 04/20/2010 22:35

    button… what the hell… butter BUTTER

  20. avatar
    The Irreverent Tony Stark 04/20/2010 22:35


    A nice sirloin, medium… and a baked potato with lots of butter, bacon and cheese…

    Mmmm, good eating.

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